We make bad suggestions and come up with horrible ideas

[AtomicDryad]

[FunsizeNinja123]

…What?

[MeatMagician]

[quote=“AtomicDryad, post:41, topic:3101”]

…What?[/quote]

It’s a Worms reference.

[FunsizeNinja123]

It’s a Worms reference.

Oh, derp.

[Ian_Strachan]

• Add Chinese food, but take advantage of unicode support to use chinese glyphs to display it on the ground.
• Change the shouting trait to make your character shout whatever they are doing, in the style of modern FPSes. “RELOADING!” “THROWING A MOLOTOV!” “EATING BEEF JERKY!” “OPENING A DOOR!” “GOING TO SLEEP!”
• Or, change the shouting trait to Tourette’s syndrome. Random chance each turn, plus guaranteed when you get hit, of swearing loudly, attracting more zombies. NPCs can have it too (sometimes it seems like they do already).
• • [tt]From the northwest you hear a string of expletives![/tt]
• When an infected bite wound has almost killed you, NPCs’ symbols become Zs, and zombie symbols become @s. You’re almost one of them, now…
• Vomiting produces vomit puddles on the ground. Hope you brought a mop.
• Enable rocket jumping by firing a rocket at the square you are standing in.
• Zombie squirrels, zombie rabbits.
• Bad At Math trait. You have no idea how many bullets are left in your gun, and any quantity of items above 10 becomes “lots”. [tt]a - aspirin (lots)[/tt]
• Amnesiac trait. Every time you look at your character status screen, your character’s name is different.
• • Happens to your save file, too.

[Mrnocamera]

- Change the shouting trait to make your character shout whatever they are doing, in the style of modern FPSes. “RELOADING!” “THROWING A MOLOTOV!” “EATING BEEF JERKY!” “OPENING A DOOR!” “GOING TO SLEEP!”

“KICKING A Z!” “BUYING SOME STUFF!” “GETTING A BOOK!” “DRINKING SOME GIN” “GETTING HIT!” “UNDER FIRE!” “ON FIRE!” “BEING KIL-”

[system]

Mutated moles - you cannot notice them until one jumps out of the ground and bites your jimmies. And then he clings there until he dies. Or until you decide to rip of your jimmies.
Mutagen rains - I heard you like mutations so we put mutagen rains in the game with mutations so you can mutate while you mutate.
“Black” trait - yes, it is exactly what you think of. You are true ghetto nigga. Nothing good or bad, but some NPCs will hate you. And you crave for fried chicken and watermelons.
Zombie clowns -

Twister - GO TO BASEMENT EVERYONE! If you’re outside… well, at least you’ll see the world. Eh-he-he.

[Iosyn]

Immigrant thing is a bit racy, man.

A new NPC: A superhero named immigration dude.
He’d send all the foreigners back to their homes for eating up all of our food.

[system]

Flying zombie dogs

[MeatMagician]

• Sexual frustration (could coincide with Necrophiliac trait) - Going too long without reading a Playboy magazine means huge moral drops. D:
• ‘Tom Hanks’ profession - You begin with a talking volleyball named Wilson that only you can hear. If he dies, you die.
• Hardcore nudist trait - Wearing anything drops your morale severely.

That’s all I have for now.

[vultures]

Tom Hanks’ volleyball got pierced. I think you know why.

Ask Gtaguy, he knows. Or he pretends since he’s got this beaver thing going on, I dunno. :::

Anyway, this game should host Carpal as a futility. If you don’t own a PS controller, stuck right in your pockets, you should freeze upon seeing the Undead; unless you can grab onto something in jeans’ pockets.

[Derschlact]

Zombie pogo sticks that ‘jump’ and only appear on the screen(a.k.a. land) 3 turns after they ‘jump’. Then they pop your head off. Bo-o-i-i-ing — POP!
Zombie hulks that drop a 75 gallon jug of Kool-Aid when they die and yell “OHHH YEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!” whenever they break something opaque.
Singing caterpillars. Because why not.
Miniature figurines that do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING~~~
Trading cards that do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING~~~ But some NPCs will pay craploads for 'em.
Piggy banks that break into coins when used to smash something!
Give me staple guns. Give me them now.
Portable fans (y’know those tiny foam fans that light up or something) that can spin at speeds of 1000000000 RPM and create a mini windstorm!
Pencil sharpeners that make unsharpened pencils usable for writing random math expressions!
The ability to use items like spraycans or markers on an enemy to draw a morale-boosting funny expression or face or facial hair or—fizzle
An arcade that requires coins (obtained from dead zombies or the piggy bank aforementioned) and then lets you play arcade classics like the original Cataclysm!
Deodorant that reduces your ‘scent’ and teleports you to a boat.
Boiled leather that’s edible!
Alarm clocks that can wake you up at any given time - at the cost of 20 noise!
MP3 players that actually dont contain the music you desire.
Plastic cans of salted assorted nuts! Will make you nauseous if you eat it all!
Readable nutrition labels. For the truly desperate.
When you use a small item “,” as a weapon, you try to suffocate the enemy with it! Pillows too. And sheets. Basically all fabric items.
Toy guns that emit thick smoke! (had one of those sometime ago, they were loud and they smoked up my sight.)
Acid guns!
I want to attach my rock to a stick and a rope and use it as a makeshift flail!
Please. Why can’t I use my cellphone as a light. That causes blindness. And melts zombies. And also etc. etc.
Wallets that can be reloaded with money bundles and unloaded. Then you can finally make zombies take your money and shut up. Quite literally, by shooting your money at them and causing a severe papercut to the neck.

AND FINALLY…

To unload your stomach with a stomach pump, to remove toxins you purposely consumed.

[ShinQuickMan]

Buildable Straw Men. 'a’pplying one will spawn an immobile “monster” that you can attack to train combat skills (especially melee skills, which can’t be safely trained at the moment). While you can construct Straw Men out of a variety of different materials, only those made out of actual straw will grant a happiness bonus when killed on account of you having the higher moral high ground.

[Derschlact]

#You can cut oranges into slices, which can then…
uh…
You can wear them on your face.
Wearing one of those = a constant message along the lines of
You taste something sour.
You taste something sour.
You taste something sour.
You taste something sour.
You taste something sour.
You suffocate because you are wearing an orange on your face.
Game over - Press space to continue…

#Super Mega Jumbo size Fly Swatters -
Super effective against annoying swamp insects!
#A vacuum cleaner. It sucks up items and transports them to Never Land. Bonus if you use the vacuum cleaner on your tile, it transports YOU to Never Land. A land of left socks. Have fun spending the rest of your days examining sock piles and hunting dust bunnies.
#You have Kirby-like powers! Eat a sword to stab things with your arms! Eat a grenade to self-destruct!
#Every can of cola and root bear beer has a 25% chance to explode in your face when consumed. Enhanced chance of explosion if you move around when carrying it.
Pizza delivery caravan corpses! Carry tons of meat pizzas and have a nearby van filled with even more meat pizzas!
#Combine your zweihander with a Granade to create a magical bugfixing zweihander! Combine a stick with two gallon jugs containing water to make a stick that contains water! Combine a cell phone with your favorite lawnmower to mow down your enemies while conveniently knowing the time! Do anything with the patented Com-Bine technology!

[asdfzxc]

Attempting to smash a monster should count as a melee attack. Perhaps replace it altogether with a kick command like in Nethack?

Glocks explode when they malfunction.

“Asshole” starting trait. Makes you less cooperative to hostile NPCs, and gives you a general penalty to persuasion.

Finally fix jacqueshammers being as common as regular jackhammers (should be at least twice as common).

Helicopter wrecks that actually look like helicopters, and radioactive craters that are shaped like craters.

[bubbadoo14]

[quote=“Derschlact, post:54, topic:3101”]You can cut oranges into slices, which can then…
uh…
You can wear them on your mouth.
Wearing one of those = a constant message along the lines of
You taste something sour.
You taste something sour.
You taste something sour.
You taste something sour.
You taste something sour.
You suffocate because you are wearing an orange on your face.
Game over!

Super Mega Jumbo size Fly Swatters -
Super effective against annoying swamp insects!

A vacuum cleaner.
It sucks up items and transports them to Never Land.[/quote]
I think you mean a lemon, not an orange.

[Derschlact]

Well, I don’t know about you, but some oranges I eat are pretty sour.

[kevin.granade]

[quote=“Ian Strachan, post:32, topic:3101”]- Unique Monster: Nyan Cat. Leaves behind 8s (clouds) that start out being red and cycle through rainbow colors, disappearing after violet.

• Picking a Persuade option gives you Paragon points, Intimidate/Lie gives you Renegade points. Neither has any effect but to show up in your memorial file.
• If you run out of batteries on the handheld console, you suffer a heavy morale penalty from “Lost game progress”
• When you first interact with lab computers, you get a description of the screen saver they were running.
• Add “Desert Bus” as a new game for the handheld console.
• New vehicle part: Sub-woofer.
• When your character dies, you are asked to enter their last words.
• Make the flyers collectible, and show a notice when the player collects all of them.[/quote]
  Dude, you’re TERRIBLE at this.
  By which I mean I want to implement each and every one of these.

My bad ideas:
Unathletic trait: When running you have a chance of having leg cramps which cause moderate pain.
Food Alergies: Various foods make you sick, you may or may not know which foods.
Poor sense of smell: You can’t tell when food is rotten until well past the point when it’s dangerous to eat.
Yoga as a martial art style.

[Mrnocamera]

Shotguns have a 99% chance of backfiring and killing you instantly.
Status effect: Erection. If you are a male and read playboy, you get a erection that means you cannot talk to NPC’s for a while.
Staus effect: Mutated Erection. If you are a male and drink mutagen with a erection, you have a permanent erection and your current pants get ripped.
Status effect: Massive Erection. You cannot move, your erection is too big!
New type of mutagen: Human mutagen. You turn back into a normal human instantly. Unrecognizable from normal mutagen.

[KA101]

:-/

I think that’s a bit much.