Why is every moose so evil?

Beanchilla · 2014-09-21T07:32:25.000Z

It seems like if I come within just two squares of them they immediately storm me and attempt to destroy me.

jimboblordofeskimos · 2014-09-21T07:58:46.000Z

Moose are the carp of the cataclysm world.

i2amroy · 2014-09-21T19:06:45.000Z

Evidently you have not ever lived in an area with moose. Let me tell you, you don’t mess with moose. (Injury wise moose are the second most dangerous animal world wide, only the hippo causes more injuries every year).

Really the problem here is that in real life, moose don’t continue to chase you down and try to end you after you run away, where our moose transform into dangerous hunter-killer death mammals once you piss them off.

Aslandus · 2014-09-21T19:43:52.000Z

Why wouldn’t you expect a moose to attack you? How else will they get their fill of human flesh?

madoobler_sauce · 2014-09-22T04:46:29.000Z

Sometimes it feels like they actively hunt for PCs to kill.

detahramet · 2014-09-22T06:47:28.000Z

[quote=“i2amroy, post:3, topic:7410”]Evidently you have not ever lived in an area with moose. Let me tell you, you don’t mess with moose. (Injury wise moose are the second most dangerous animal world wide, only the hippo causes more injuries every year).

Really the problem here is that in real life, moose don’t continue to chase you down and try to end you after you run away, where our moose transform into dangerous hunter-killer death mammals once you piss them off. are in the general vicinity of them. :P[/quote]
FTFY

DrEggnog · 2014-09-22T06:51:46.000Z

It’s OK, all they want is a hug…

[move][glow=red,2,300]And your blood.[/glow][/move]

Aslandus · 2014-09-22T17:09:21.000Z

madoobler_sauce:

Sometimes it feels like they actively hunt for PCs to kill.

They fight NPCs too, I had one NPC fighting a moose with a rock… not sure how well they were doing, but the moose got injured before it lost interest

madoobler_sauce · 2014-09-25T03:54:29.000Z

Aslandus:

[quote=“madoobler_sauce, post:5, topic:7410”]Sometimes it feels like they actively hunt for PCs to kill.

I had one NPC fighting a moose with a rock…[/quote]

I’ll bet you anything that npc had several 40mm grenades and nothing to shoot them with.

vsirl005 · 2014-09-25T12:19:58.000Z

There are only two times when you should really fear a Moose:

If you piss it off and in “its” territory
If its mating season.

Why? Because Bull Moose dun care, its gonna get laid.

Shadowchaser · 2014-09-27T21:56:57.000Z

[quote=“vsirl005, post:10, topic:7410”]There are only two times when you should really fear a Moose:

If you piss it off and in “its” territory
If its mating season.

Why? Because Bull Moose dun care, its gonna get laid.[/quote]

I live in the area of the US Cataclysm canonically takes place in (northern New England, if I recall correctly).

Moose here have destroyed cars by attempting to mate with them.

Logrin · 2014-09-28T06:17:27.000Z

I’m a great whallopping Canuck and I’ll attest to the deadliness of moose. The REAL way they get you is standing in the middle of the road and waiting to get the legs taken out from under them by careless motorists. Your car will plow right into those long legs of theirs and send upwards to a thousand pounds of muscle and bone right into your lap. No joke, they kill so many people every year here that some provinces put up special fences and signs along the roads.

…so we named a beer, a city and a hockey team after them!

deadmerits · 2014-09-28T07:26:21.000Z

Moose are like dolphins… severely underestimated.

Arek_PL · 2014-09-28T08:17:03.000Z

deadmerits:

Moose are like dolphins… severely underestimated.

what is wrong with dolphins?

Logrin · 2014-09-28T08:51:06.000Z

I’ll field this one with some recommended reading…

[spoiler=What you need to know about THE ADVERSARY]http://theoatmeal.com/comics/dolphin_punch

http://deepseanews.com/2013/02/10-reasons-why-dolphins-are-aholes/

http://www.anti-dolphin.org/fear.php[/spoiler]

TheWumpus · 2014-10-05T06:22:45.000Z

Moose aren’t evil. They just want to hug you. Hug you with their genitals. Why do you resist? You know what resistance does…it only makes their penis harder.

Seriously though out of the wildlife I’ve encountered, moose are the ones that scare me the most. They, not bears, are the reason I carry a large caliber revolver in the back woods.

detahramet · 2014-10-05T20:30:58.000Z

[quote=“TheWumpus, post:16, topic:7410”]Moose aren’t evil. They just want to hug you. Hug you with their genitals. Why do you resist? You know what resistance does…it only makes their penis harder.

Seriously though out of the wildlife I’ve encountered, moose are the ones that scare me the most. They, not bears, are the reason I carry a large caliber revolver in the back woods.[/quote]

Moose: “It’s not rape… Its a cuddle with struggle…”

[size=3pt]Oh god I can’t believe i made that joke.[/size]

Aravhorn · 2014-10-05T20:35:47.000Z

[quote=“TheWumpus, post:16, topic:7410”]Moose aren’t evil. They just want to hug you. Hug you with their genitals. Why do you resist? You know what resistance does…it only makes their penis harder.

Seriously though out of the wildlife I’ve encountered, moose are the ones that scare me the most. They, not bears, are the reason I carry a large caliber revolver in the back woods.[/quote]
A revolver, you say? Meh, I just impale them to death every time I see them, and leave the fight without a single scratch!

TheWumpus · 2014-10-06T00:00:06.000Z

[quote=“Aravhorn, post:18, topic:7410”][quote=“TheWumpus, post:16, topic:7410”]Moose aren’t evil. They just want to hug you. Hug you with their genitals. Why do you resist? You know what resistance does…it only makes their penis harder.

Seriously though out of the wildlife I’ve encountered, moose are the ones that scare me the most. They, not bears, are the reason I carry a large caliber revolver in the back woods.[/quote]
A revolver, you say? Meh, I just impale them to death every time I see them, and leave the fight without a single scratch![/quote]

I’m not talking in game.

detahramet · 2014-10-06T02:13:21.000Z

[quote=“TheWumpus, post:19, topic:7410”][quote=“Aravhorn, post:18, topic:7410”][quote=“TheWumpus, post:16, topic:7410”]Moose aren’t evil. They just want to hug you. Hug you with their genitals. Why do you resist? You know what resistance does…it only makes their penis harder.

Seriously though out of the wildlife I’ve encountered, moose are the ones that scare me the most. They, not bears, are the reason I carry a large caliber revolver in the back woods.[/quote]
A revolver, you say? Meh, I just impale them to death every time I see them, and leave the fight without a single scratch![/quote]

I’m not talking in game.[/quote]

So do you just like in the Canadian equivalent to Texas?