ALRIGHT, Now that I have time, I’ll relate to you the story of my uncle’s Pruno.
So, it starts as these stories usually do, my uncle finds out that convicts like to brew their own alcohol and decides “Hey, I can do that, it’s probably cheaper than beer too!” So he decides to get some large jars and start making pruno in them (amongst other types of moonshine, as we later found out). These jars are pretty huge, something like 10 litres for some of them, and he’s chucked all of the fruit he can find into them, along with some bread for yeast, now here’s where it gets interesting, see, some of the jars have no lids and my uncle is a dipshit who things that wooden boards will keep it sealed well enough; Well apparently it didn’t, because rats got into the mix somewhat late into the fermentation, and my uncle has forgotten all about his side project, the jars have been lost in the back of the shed next to a few boxes of fireworks.
The fun part comes a month or so later from his estimated start date. All the family was hanging around his place for some kind of get together, it’s around the middle of January, sweltering hot here in Australia and suddenly we hear some popping coming from the yard, at first, we brush it off as nothing and carry on. Well, the popping got louder and more frequent, and just as we decide to go outside to investigate we hear what sounded like a cannon going off! My uncle’s shed is GONE. Wiped off the face of the earth, the fireworks had ignited and all gone off, which wouldn’t be so bad except for the fact that there was some 50 odd litres of pruno in the shed. Now, pruno isn’t great in the best of conditions, but this stuff was over aged, poorly sealed, and had a bunch of dead animals in it from early in the fermentation. The walls of the house, hell, the walls of the NEIGHBOURS house have been painted with this lovely sludge made from a mix of rotten fruit and dead animals in various states of decomposition, the smell is atrocious, you could smell it from the end of the street, for that matter you could smell it from the end of the next street over. Cops got called in, my uncle gets arrested for some form of criminal negligence along with possession of illegal fireworks.
The smell lasted for a few months, it was pretty fucking awful. We pretty much cut ties with him immediately after that incident, but the memory remains of those raining rat chunks and multicoloured globs of rot.
