One tile wide windows are the most important thing to know about for surviving, with some 1/2 decent stats and an ok melee wep, (hammer is good) you can take literally 100s of Zs at a 1 tile wide window, unless things go really wrong, you will kill the zombies before they manage to hit you.
Well, this lab is not correctly located along this road.
I saw nothing (literally, a square area of nothing) near the police dept
With the new build :
- First toon died walking on a landmine.
- Second toon died disarming a shotgun trap.
- Third toon died poisoned by a spider.
- Fourth toon died biten by a cougar.
- Fifth toon died from bleeding after passng through a broken window.
- Sixth toon still alive.
The tale of Leeroy McBaller, Martial Artist & general cool guy
Day 1
Left the shelter, immediately came across loads of dead drug dealers. Filled backpack with cocaine, meth & pistols. Ran through town hoovering consumables, books, ammo and various beneficial items into my backpack and then sprinted out of town ahead of ~50 Z’s without a single fight. Gave the dude at the shelter some antibiotics, in return for moderate training in Melee, Pistols, Electronics & Computers. Sat down and read books to get my mechanics skill up to 5.
Sun is setting as I rock back into town with my new buddy in tow to find a vehicle. We meet a lone Z and my buddy pulls out a flashlight and starts ineffectually bobbing the Z with it, apparently having no other weapon - SIGH! I give him a combat knife and then we axe kick/stab our way into town against sporadic Z resistance. Unfortunately, we find no vehicles, and then it starts to rain. Apparently it is raining pure ice because I start to get frostbite almost immediately. We go into a house, and I go into the bathroom looking for drugs. My new buddy follows me over and stands in the doorway - the only way in - and then wont move. Huh. I have no way out and nowhere I move in the bathroom will make him step out the doorway. Nothing I tell him with make him go away. Eventually I have to blow his brains out with my M1911A1 into order to get past, and then the darkness outside the the house is suddenly filled with ???s as about 2000 Zombies converge on the sound of the discharge.
I proceed have a very bad time trying to hold 4 windows against 2000 Zombies, and after a hundred odd undeaths and a severe battering decide to run my boy. I chug a load of cocaine, burst out the front door and critically plant my foot through the surprised face of the Zombie Cop waiting outside. Fuck the po-lice! Steamrolling over his corpse and off through town followed by a ridiculous number of Z’s, it occurs to me that its raining, I’m in pain, I accidently left most my ammo on the floor in the house and I’m sleepy, still without a cot set up somewhere safe. I might die on Day 1!
Luckily after a while I manage to evade the horde in the darkness, and fall asleep in a house on the outskirts to lick my wounds.
Day 2
I am awoken a 4AM by a KER-BLAM to the north west! Its dark, and raining, and the house is ringed by fast moving ???'s so I pull up the covers and huddle in the bed. KER-BLAMS continue for a while, and I shiver in bed and dont go out to help. Eventually the gunshots fall silent. The ???s around the house have all vanished, but I’m sure they are all out there… unaware of my location but easily numerous enough to finish me off. I chug some whiskey and fall back to sleep.
I wake up around 8AM, half healed and ready to kick some new asses! I stretch and walk out to seethe sunrise. Outside on the road is a corpse of a human female atop a small mountain of empty shotgun shells and dead Z’s. Two dead Brutes! I respectfully loot her corpse. Back at the shelter, I do some brain math. The town I have explored is tiny, shitty and without any vehicles. I decide to break into the science lab on the outskirts of town - one of my lucky Day 1 aqqusitions was a single C4 explosive - and hope for something to make my life easier. I axe-kick some wolves on the walk up the highway, then blow open the lab doors.
Apparently surprised by the huge hole where the foyer used to be, the turret of the other side of the door goes batshit and starts pow-pow-pow-powing. I’m about 12 squares away so this misses me entirely. I duel the turret for a while with my M1911A1, using a huge amount of ammo because I am a terrible shot. Eventually I blow the turret away and crank into the lab. Within I trigger and escape Secubots, receive an underwhelming mutation (rough skin), find a teleporter (THESE ARE USEFUL) and plug in some cyber modules- internal storage, batteries, ethanol burner. Mostly useless!
Back outside its raining again, so I get wet and depressed. I decide to jog up the road and pray for another, better town. Instead, I find a FARM! These are new clearly, and awesome. I get tangled in barbed wire and wreck my vest. I decide to make the farmhouse my HQ. Outside is truck! Fuck Yeah! Unfortunately, a seat is missing… the seat required to sit at the controls. I dont have the tools to remove the existing seat and put it infront of the controls. Cant drive it until I do. Fuck, annoyance 9000! I will have to jog miles and miles back into town to get a hacksaw, welder & wench if I want the truck.
I want the truck.
I decide to leave that for tomorrow as night is falling. I go explore around the farm and find, holy fuck, a FEMA camp!! Awesome!! I’m about to go explore it when this Random NPC, ‘Bernard’, rocks up and says somthing like, ‘YO BRAH!’. I holster my gun and he decides we can be friends. He’s carrying a revolver and packing massive strength. I convince him to join me, and get him to train me in pistols some more. I am a pistol god now, but have about 6 ammo between my 5 pistols. half my pistols are silenced, and almost all of them have extra mags. Just waaaiting on the ammos.
Me & Bernard rock into the Fema camp and have a very bad time, as Zombie scientists and soldiers swarm out. Manhacks everywhere. Bernard runs out of ammo almost instantly and pistol-whips his way into the camp, with me cowering behind his bulk. We get seperated when I decide to ninja kick a spitter Z through a table. Its too dark to see far so I am just running between open crates, tables, lockers, beating the shit out of lone Z’s with my martial arts and drinking lots of Tequila. Occasionally I see combat reports from Bernard but never see him… I see lots of corpses though, so he must be keeping busy. One of the zombie soliders hits me in the eyes and I proceed to bleed like a pig - what the hell is this!? Loads of pain. I am wet and depressed and frostbitten AGAIN.
It starts going pretty badly - got my back to the chainlink fence and some red health body parts- when a Zombie scientist comes up to me and ‘gesticates wildly’. I punch his spleen out the back of his head then run up his falling corpse to dropkick a Z soldiers head off and GLORY BE, AMMUNITION! 100 rounds of 9mm is on the Z soldiers Corpse. Leeroy McBaller, Pistol hero, comes online, loading up 3 of his double-magged pistols. What follows is reminiscent of The Expendables. I run through dark corridoors and between benches, crates and doors one-shotting every Z I see. I see and kill LOADS of Z. Eventually the Z are all dead and I limp back to the gap in the wire fence I arrived by. Moments later, Bernard also staggers out of the darkness, bloody but Alive! I am glad to see him, as he seems like a reliable bro on a night out. Bernard still seems to have no ammo - I wonder what the hell he was doing in the dark at FEMA camp all that time I was kicking ass. Pistol whipping furiously?
Me & Benard roll back to the nearby Farm house. I light a fire and we crack out the whiskey and Cigars. At 2am I politely say my goodnights and roll into the bed, leaving Bernard the armchair by the fire.
Day 3
I wake up at about 10AM. Bernard is gone and nowhere to be found. The fire is dead. Half my body is spamming YOU ARE VERY COLD. Today, I decide to go back into town to get the tools to fix the truck. I dont have the patience to wait for night, because YOLO. I decide fast and silent would be best. I leave all my pistols and backpacks at the farmhouse and set out with just my martial arts gear, some snacks and some adderall.
The trip into town is uneventful. I make it all the way to the garage with only a few minor beat-downs required. At the garage I grab the appropriate gear, but then it occours to me that the welder will need power. The Electronics shop is literally on the opposite side of town.
The trip across town is eventful. Z’s swarm out of every door and Window. I channel them through a 1x1 window to thin their numbers on several occasions and get my unarmed skill up to a respectable 5. I am wasted on Vodka most the time. The jackpot awaiting me in the middle of a street is the corpses of more meth thugs. one of them has a cybernetic heatray arm. I bolt it into myself immediately and without thought. I AM MEGA MAN NOW! I also find more Ammo, then hit a gunshop for even MORE ammo. All my pistols have ammo now.
It all goes so well until I am on my way out. I find some traps and decide it would be cool to have a sawn-off shotgun. I try to disarm a shotgun trap; it goes off instead, KERBLAM!
My torso is pwned to red, and pain is out the wazoo. Worse, Z’s suddenly show up in huge numbers from basically every direction. OH SHIIIIIII SON, I think, and decide to just run my boy immediately. I get to the edge of town before being surrounded. I find a 1x1 gap between some buildings and pull out some outragous Jackie Chan. The Z’s massacre eachother with Acid. Somehow I martial art about 50 Z’s, until only the most hardcore remain. Two Brutes charge in. Having zero confidence in my ability to Taikwondo a Brute, I use my teleporter to appear on the other side of the wall I am backed against, and then run out of town.
A long, long walk later I reach the farmhouse, soaked and frostbitten as usual. I drink some orange juice then go straight to the bed for emergency healing sleeps - I cant see my HP levels but I presume I must have about 1hp left.
Its dark at this point, and my dude is tired. he goes out like a light.
Day 4
I get up and fix the truck. Other parts are yellow and red, but it starts! It drives! Hellllll yearh! I pack everything I own into the pack and then rev the engine and drive away, leaving the farmhouse and Fema camp behind. I cruise the motorways for a while, listening to music.
Half a tank later, I hit a new town. Actually, I hit about 7000 Z’s. I have never seen to many ingame. The new view distance allows me to fully comprehend how screwed I am. The new town is standing room only, with Z’s standing in ALL the room. I plough the unmuffled truck through their ranks, but it only seems to cause more and more of them to appear.
After running over about 300 Z’s, the truck embarrassingly stops in the middle of a huge, ridiculous horde. Multiple Hulks. Tens of Brute, Ridiculous everything else. A brute crashes into the door of the truck intent on breaking my head.
The Sherrif, is back in town. I open the truck door, one-shot the Brute with my pistol casual as you like and step out the car, looking lean in my martial arts gear and pistols. The low sun is glaring. Its Hammer Time. I snort a fistful of coke, down the adderall, shoot up some meths, drink the last tequila and suddenly I am moving in bullet time.
Z’s converge from all directions. I toss out the moltovs, then dash through the crowds at ridiculous speeds, one-shotting Z after Z at point blank so fast they didn’t even know I had gone past. I kill about forty Z’s on the first mags of my pistols, killing two hulks and countless other types. The second mags of my pistols are equally heroic, but the Z’s are getting denser and denser and suddenly it dosnt look so great. My speed is about 180 and I start to get hit here and there. Nothing serious but my pain creeps up. For every Z I headshot, another lands a glancing blow and my pain meter clicks up.
Twenty minutes later, I am knee deep in the dead. The coke is wearing off. Only one pistol has ammo, a .22. I am now using martial arts as often as the pistol, and making more and more use of the teleporter to escape surrounds. The Z death toll outside the new town must be absolutely sky high, but they are still swarming. I blink in and out of existance, roundhousing Z’s or shooting them in the temple, slow and weaker and slower and less powerfully. I realise it is time to leave, or die. I shoot up all my remaining drugs and start to run, but a single hulk has headed me off.
Showdown time. The .22 pistol glances off the hulk ineffectually.
Martial arts time.
The taikwondo 70% damage prevention allows for some outrageous standoffs, but Leeroy McBaller is fucked up. We trade blows in the glare of the sunset, and Leeroy McBaller is outmatched. Out of teleport, ammo, health, painkillers, stimulants, Leeroy McBaller crumples like a rag doll against the huge fist the hulk and dies. He racked up just over 800 kills in 4 days, earning a place in my heart forever more for his YOLOing ways
x
woah, man now i gotta cry. such a promising test subject had to die before i could make SCIENCE! to him with my endless supply of mutagen. oh well. maybe we could at least recover the corpse? to respectfully make SCIENCE!
Screenshots will have another meaning. 28x28, there I go xD
Last version is kinda hard… Temperature seems broken. 16C and frostbites? And that’s inside. C’mon, really? Frostbite on face at those temperatures is just ridiculous. And how do we supposed to survive winters then?
You can die at a pretty warm temp, if exposed and wet. Add wind and it’s pretty horrible.
Inside and frostbite seem a bit full on though.
I know. Had slept outside @ 10C, and liek 90% hum. Brrr… 
But that’s it - nothing happened to my face, lol
Went to wield a Rifle for the first time a few days in and was informed I needed 2 arms.
‘WHICH ONE OF YOU ZOMBIE SUNZABITCHES STOLE MY ARM WHILE I WASNT LOOKING!?’
Decide to investigate a FEMA camp. Walk in with full kevlar, AK-47 and a Glock as a sidearm.
Jump the fence and…holy fuck that’s a lot of the bastards. Cocaine, then run to the entrance. Throw molotovs between the barbed wire, flick the AK to full auto, and start hosing the horde.
So…many…corpses…
Is there anything useful to be found in fema camps? Ive mostly just found random crap and a few meds
Made some pretty cool discovery’s when scouting around my farm stead base
the fema camp is in the middle of a river cut in half by a road this is awesome
Ha fuck you
[quote=“jimboblordofeskimos, post:131, topic:47”]Went to wield a Rifle for the first time a few days in and was informed I needed 2 arms.
‘WHICH ONE OF YOU ZOMBIE SUNZABITCHES STOLE MY ARM WHILE I WASNT LOOKING!?’[/quote]
*Raises Hand
In the FEMA I found lots of meds, heaps of guns and ammo, and more tents than I could ever need. And barbed wire.
The game came up with the lovely encouraging message of:
“YOU SHOULD QUIT THE GAME IMMEDIATELY.”
Which did wonders for my confidence with the game. What makes that message trigger? All I was doing was moving from one empty building to another.
PaultheNerd: That is caused by the Schizophrenic trait or an artifact that can mimic the Schizophrenic trait 
Running in circles around heaps of wrecks (sharp) kiting zombies over the stuff, then stabbing at them when they make they way to me.
Makes sense! Survived all the way to 8pm on my last playthrough, such a good feeling to make progress!
EDIT: On my newest attempt to play I found a car! Then in my excitement crashed it into a wall and died :(.