We make bad suggestions and come up with horrible ideas

Game Talk The Drawing Board
3101

^
So much potential there! :smiley:

  • An evil water cannon turret that refuses to function against fire.
  • An evil Mk19 Grenade Launcher turret that mysteriously opens fire against refugee center guards. Of course the turret was supposed to be disabled.
  • Evil headlights that occasionally go out when speeding down the road at 60mph in the middle of the night.
  • Evil and disobeying vehicle controls, refusing to budge when approaching a turn.
  • Evil brakes that go off at 80mph… or DON’T go off at inopportune moments.
  • Evil gas tank that dumps a gallon of gasoline on a rare occasion, minimizing the chance of noticing it.
  • Evil engine that suddenly starts up while you’re asleep, potentially disturbing your sleep, or consuming fuel if you’re not sleeping within earshot. (CO poisoning too much?)
  • Evil RV Kitchen Unit that overcooks the food, cutting its nutrition in half, making it taste worse, too.
  • Evil minifridge that actually spoils the food faster, and turns meat into tainted meat. (mutagen cooks might like this though)
  • Evil alternator that actually drains the battery charge.
  • Evil car battery that can’t be recharged.
  • Evil stereo system that blasts so loud, that it makes the character deaf.
  • Evil muffler that amplifies the engine noise.
  • Evil security cameras that show monsters that aren’t there. (hallucinating cameras?)
  • Evil wheels that reduce friction.
  • Evil clock that lags behind 30-45 seconds each day, gradually and eventually mounting up to hours.
  • Evil solar panels that quietly increase any fossil fuel consumption.
  • Evil cargo carriers that occasionally exchange items with nearby containers, creating chaos.
  • Evil doors that sometimes open up for zombies.
  • Evil curtains that suddenly close while you drive… and quietly open in the middle of the night if you sleep inside the vehicle.
  • Evil bed that makes you sleep longer and leaves you feeling less fresh when you do wake up.

But of course all of the above could be caused by an adjacent evil component, like evil vehicle controls could make the stereo system blast the player deaf, or an evil wheel could make the nearby security camera hallucinate.

3102

Come on, guys and girls and whatever the fuck you are, we all can de-stress without using vibrators. All you need is at least one hand. Some of us might be good even with legs. Devs should definitely code an ability to unwind without using any tools.

3103

god no

3104

you see a zombie approaching, zip up? (y/n)
Y
You are increasingly frustrated by interruptions.
+1 strength, -1 dex, -1 perception, -1 int
You slaughter the zombie. 58 damage.
You see a zombie approaching, zip up? (y/n)
N
Just as you are about to finish the zombie attacks, blind with fluids? (Y/N)
N
The zombie attacks, you dodge but are tripped up by your pants. (knocked down) -5 elbow, -1 head, -2 leg.

3105

If you stare into the none, the none stares back at you.
If you see a none, the none should see you…

3106

bring back none and make it fire blackholes

3107

bring back none and make it fire nones, and black holes.

3108

Every so often there should be something that appears to be an N.P.C. but is actually a first-person-shooter protagonist. Notable features include:
Their items are not subject to damage.
Correction: Worn items that are classified as armour will take damage. A composite-plate-reinforced kevlar vest will be worn out after a few battles, the tee-shirt underneath it and twenty gold trophies in their pack are invulnerable.
No carrying limit.
Absurd access to weapons and ammunition.
The ability to switch their wielded equipment instantly.
Absolutely no ability whatsoever to recognise any sort of value to human life.
Correction: If you are are classified as an “enemy”(Likely something involving armament and costume. ) then your life is attributed a score, which acts as a negative value.
They can use first-aid kits, bandages, and similar items instantly.
They will always attack any container furniture.
They will occasionally suffer from hallucinations which will generate a “powerup” at the nearest location that they do not have vision of. If they gain vision of that location, then they will immediately proceed to that location and become temporarily invulnerable.
They will similarly hallucinate bandages, first-aid kits, weapons and ammunition… In all cases, these hallucinations act as real items for the F.P.S.P. yet are completely intangible to anyone else.

3109

brilliant. And some NPC’s act as F.P.S.P.'s villains. Have multiple health bars and obnoxious dialog about how they will defeat protagonist and rule/destroy world etc…

3110

Negan startmode

You get a barbed wire bat as your weapon and uncontrollably yell “fuck” every two turns or so.

3111

you have to go to the bathroom and manage where and how you do or else you will produce additional scent for animals to track. If you don’t have proper wiping material you get a morale debuff and your scent goes up.

If you don’t bathe/shower for long periods of time you produce more scent.

Clothes that are vulnerable to water get a “wet” tag for long periods of time after you wear them into water or go out into the rain with them on. this produces negative morale when they’re worn.

3112

Doubly so if they are thin material of a light shade, like the titular tee-shirt…

Every N.P.C. interaction should have more options. The obvious requirements are “pun” and “innuendo” but feel free to add more…

“R.P.G. hero” N.P.C.s. If you are lucky, they will break all your boxes, barrels, crates, cupboards, desks, draws, locks, boots, trunks, pots, vases… loot an absurd, but finite number of ‘types’ of item but infinite numbers(and thus your entire stock) of units of any given type, and then drive off in the most expensive vehicle in the vicinity. If you are unlucky, they will be looking for secrets… If you are really unlucky, they will be looking for experience points…

Murder-mystery protagonist N.P.C.s: Run, just run, leave the country, leave the continent, leave the planet, jump in a portal and pray that The Unknowable Terrors of Unbidden Might and Intolerable Disparity can exert influence enough to counter being set in a murder-mystery and don’t simply end up as last-minute bait-and-switch false-suspects…

3113

toyminators are small child sized robots that are used as visible on site security. They can use pepper spray and tazers. If intruder is visibly armed Toyminators use non-lethal firearms to incapacitate until police bots arrive. Toyminators can be located in any structure and patrol the building they are located in.

3114

Toy Soldiers. Small six inch soldiers with advanced military AI making them lethal killing machines, individually as creative and cunning as a special forces SEAL or marine. Together they make an elite unit capable of infiltration, assassination, and all around-fuck-up-your-day force of near unstoppable slaughter.

Though not initially equipped with anything potentially deadly their craftiness allows them to make tools and weapons out of household ordinary supplies.

Once one has been downed (a difficult thing to do since shooting such a small target tends to prove difficult, especially with there high level of teamwork and solid grasp of unit tactics) the others can use the AI chip and copy it to make clones in any other small toy, including barbies. Given enough time they came probably even rig larger things to have the same hi end AI.

The only currently known ways to take them out are EMP, baseball bats, lawnmowers, golf clubs, big feat stomping and other blunt/sharp weapons that can accurately hit a small plastic soldier with sufficient force to break their hardened plastic bodies.

Though after the first attempt to EMP them, any survivors are likely to build protection, and or tactics to prevent further harmful use of EMPs. Once of sufficient force, it is also unlikely to be able to get close enough to them to be able to strike them as they convert RC cars and nailguns into mobile weapons platforms, toaster ovens into tazer tanks, and other crafty homemade weapon systems. Once they have built up to this level of force it is unlikely that even a lawnmower will be able to reach them without being turned back against those that oppose them and their mission.

You should also expect them to cut your means of communication, commit to radio jamming, surveillance and counter surveillance operations if given half the opportunity.

See documentation:





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It’s too bad your kid decided to buy a large inventory of them for the toy store down the street just before they were realized to have “gone rogue” or that nobody realized that the “innocent plays WITH your child toys” were actually embedded with military AI by an incompetent, but enthusiast employee of the toy/military chip factory… until it was too late… And now there is no one around to stop their growing power base.

3115

That Toy Soldiers Reference was fucking glorious. Made me want to watch it again.

3116

I aim to please.

3117

It should be possible to raid spy organisations and get spy gear. Like a talking car with hidden weapons, or weaponised endowments to fill out transvestite outfits. C.B.M. versions of all their stuff would be an obvious inclusion…

3118

aircrafts because deathmobille is too boring, flying fortress is way to go!

3119

Flying magnetic fortress cities. Because something something climate change emissions something something all doomed means that humanity had to live high above the clouds to keep from breathing all the toxic gases that now cloud all the surface areas. Something that surely also somehow involved in the coming zombies and other disaster that have torn the world apart since the rifts opened.

3120

All plants have a chance to release undetectable chemicals in the air that lowers mood harshly and urges to the player to off themselves.