I’msure someone did. I have another smoking is bad story I’ll share after work.
Sounds great hope it’s as good as the first.
The successor to the poor dead bastard in the OP: Following in her father’s footsteps, Judith became a knight as well. She met Alonzo on the first day and he was totally broken (thanks vampire mod). Level 20 stats, level 15 fighting skills…obsessed with his damn slow crossbow…But he kept her alive during the initial craziness and discovery that the anthill to the northwest was ACIDIC…
They cleared the whole town together, it was quiet. Judith worked on learning how to install a battery in a car (mechanics 2? wtf, seriously…) and Alonzo quietly snickered in a corner, refusing to lift a finger without direction, the bastard…It was quiet.
They were starting to build a place for themselves in the shell of a small warehouse. It would have been fully secure, if some fool hadn’t drove an RV through the side of it. The Rv was immobile, but the kitchen unit was intact and there was a little bit of power left. This was the project, fix the RV.
The first time they entered the warehouse, they surprised a large family of foxes. Grinning to one another, they closed in on the poor cornered beasts, showering the whole interior of the warehouse with blood, gore and chunks of meat. Judith set up a brazier and loaded it up with wood from smashed crates. She was going to make meat jerky. (I know, it’s not smoked. But there is some smoke…).
Absentmindedly, Judith knocked over the brazier while shifting wood around. She didn’t notice til Alonzo shouted ‘FIRE!’. Turning around, the whole area around the brazier was engulfed and flames were quickly spreading to the nearby crates and the ceiling was in danger. She locked eyes with Alonzo for a moment, there on the far side of the warehouse, flames already licking at his heels. He looked confident. She bolted for the door of the RV, it’s back door was the only way out. Curse these cheap chinese door handles, it makes getting through the door so slow. The flames were spreading through the RV on all sides of her. She saw Alonzo one last time, completely surrounded and engulfed in flames. It seems death had found him at last.
She staggered through the door of the RV, flames licking at her heels, boiling alive inside her steel plate armor. With the last of her strength she stumbles away from the inferno. But it’s no use, she’s overcome by the heat and collapses, cooked to death inches from cool air and safety. RIP Alonzo and Judith.
- This was fun. The death totally caught me by surprise I thought I was gonna make it. I think the stun from heat is a bit excessive, I was in a dead sprint and suddenly the next thing I’m seeing is a wall of me puking and taking heat damage, completely immobilized for the entire time the house burnt. I thought I’d outlast the heat, but lost that race too. Oh well, another one bites the dust. Sorry it didn’t involve smoking directly, but I WAS going to smoke some meat…so there. Smoking kills.
Ofh could be worse could have walked into the brazier on fire.
Not I sir. I say mock the peasants thoroughly, and rudely, with an offensively British accent first…Then kill them all. Its only proper 
Hmm. Yeas mock them with cigarettes and smokey things as you kill them thoroughly.
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Wouldst thou not enjoy this Turkish blend to the cut of my sword? A shame you have no choice in the matter, filthy peasants. stabbing commences
Maybe a nice Colombian blend? Or perhaps a nice American blend either or fire works wonders on em and you can light the cigar with the body’s. Adds a wonderful texture to it.
Nothing pairs quite as well with an expensive cigar like that taste of burning hair you can only get from a good corpse fire.
And the amorous feeling in your loins can only come from their screaming
…Welcome to Marlbolo Country.
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We should probably make a new thread for this if this gets much more off track. But Yea Marlboro country is rough. Just be careful not to breathe the smoke clouds.
Quite true, haha.
On topic, the best thing cig related I can think thats happened to a character of mine was hitting the wrong key and throwing a cigarette butt instead of my grenade at a Bio-ops. I had a heck of a moment of confusion when I blew up. Smoking can kill
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