Facepalm moments

[Eric]

I was too busy looting to notice that I took four hand pumps, two copies of the Army marksmanship manual, and three cordless drills

[FunsizeNinja123]

tfw you set fire to the wall instead of the wood stove

tfw you’re beating that hulk with your gun instead of your sword

tfw it’s about to be dark soon and you’ve ran out of batteries for your flashlight

tfw you meet a corrosive zombie in the middle of darkness

[Solusphere]

[ul][li]Reversing an APC into a tree and having the external diesel tanks on the rear ignite and set the whole vehicle and everything in it on fire.[/li]
[li]Losing a lab game by running through a closed door which i’ve already marked as containing a turret while holding numpad 6.[/li]
[li]In my experience, anything involving dynamite. Shit blows up by itself regardless of any plans I have for it. 10/10 for realism. This is why even the Mythbusters refuse to use actual dynamite.[/li]
[li]Accidentally drinking ammonia. Happened quite a lot before the current warnings were put in.[/li]
[li]Attempting to make a fire on a floor I didn’t notice was made of wood, two tiles away from my main stash. This happened last night. Amazingly, I got out of that with myself and my stuff intact. Always keep a fire extinguisher in your stash, folks![/li][/ul]

[Walegrin]

When after three day of our arm not starting to heal you realize that the splint is on the wrong arm…

[X-PLODE]

Always keep a fire extinguisher in your stash, folks!

You just…unload a liquid onto the fire before it spreads.

[Solusphere]

You just…unload a liquid onto the fire before it spreads.

That’s an option if you get to it quickly enough. In this case the fire was already four tiles in size by the time my crafting was interrupted due to heat damage. I’ve also had it save me when a burning eye pretty much cut my mobile base in half and ignited a fuel tank in one shot from outside my vision radius. Didn’t save the vehicle, but it saved me and most of my items. Thankfully I don’t think burning eyes destroy vehicles anymore.

When after three day of our arm not starting to heal you realize that the splint is on the wrong arm…

Haha, I did this too!

[BeerBeer]

“I wonder what EXACTLY happens if I drive my APC slowly into the river. Do I get a warning? Does it get stopped? Does it float? Does it get stuck?”

Computer! Set a course at that river. 10mph ahead. Engage.
5 tiles to water. 4. 3. 2. 1. Shallow water. Shallow water. Speed holding, m’ Captain. Shallow water.
“Your APC sinks!” quoth the message log

The entire APC disappears at once and my character suddenly finds himself in the water. My face:

-_-

[Solusphere]

[quote=“BeerBeer, post:7, topic:11960”]“I wonder what EXACTLY happens if I drive my APC slowly into the river. Do I get a warning? Does it get stopped? Does it float? Does it get stuck?”

Computer! Set a course at that river. 10mph ahead. Engage.
5 tiles to water. 4. 3. 2. 1. Shallow water. Shallow water. Speed holding, m’ Captain. Shallow water.
“Your APC sinks!” quoth the message log

The entire APC disappears at once and my character suddenly finds himself in the water. My face:

-_-[/quote]

I’ll be honest, I’ve always wondered what happens there! Thanks for saving me the pain of finding out!

[MrQwerty]

yeah, someone did it back in 0.A, since he was a fish mutant and wanted to have an underwater base - same result

[Codeslamer]

Speed holding, m’ Captain.

This sentence alone was simply amazing.

[DeWolf]

Sadly with the way the boats mod works it seems that you can’t make an amphibious vehichle.

Also tried to lure a moose into a mine and I thought I was out of the blast radius but then I get burned and headshoted by shrapnel. Or was it a migo I was trying lure.

[Reofecthegreat]

I once ignored warning messages while I was moving around my stash and organizing it and starved to death. Nothing like having all the food you could want a tile or two away and just forgetting to eat.

[Submarine]

As soon you hit “Y” on dead-cam realizing you had something something in your inventory/arsenal that could have saved you.

[deoxy]

I once ignored warning messages while I was moving around my stash and organizing it and starved to death. Nothing like having all the food you could want a tile or two away and just forgetting to eat.

Wow, I wasn’t actually sure you could do that. I mean, I’ve been “famished” to the point that my speed was below 50, and I managed to find food and be OK again.

How long does it actually take?

[BeerBeer]

Standard stuff, involuntary, at least once per character:

Working the crowbar on a locked door for dozens of times.
Open up, you son of a bitch. You know you want to.
I’ve worked too hard and too long to just walk away now.
The door finally pops open.
NOW remember you had improv. lockpick or the locksmith kit.
Works the other way around too - use 20 lockpicks, finally notice the crowbar in the inventory.
Why is it so hard to realize that other tools exist?
Why can’t I fix a smartphone with a hammer? Why, mother, why? I think I’m just not trying hard enough.

Then this sort of thing:

Doing the ranch quest to procure two-by-fours.
Cutting down trees, sawing to planks.
Time to head back. Ugh, what a drive.
Arrival.
Carefully back the armored van into the dark barn where the ranch head honcho NPC dwells all day every day.
Kill the engine. Sigh. Sip coffee. Glance out of the window.
Another day. Another job done.
Right. The planks. I left them where I chopped down the trees.
"Yesyes. You must be wondering why I’m coming in like I’m making a delivery. I’m here to tell you that you and this shoddy little ranch of yours can suck my acorns. I’ve decided not to do the job. You think about this. You think about what you’ve said and done! Good day."
Never showed my (character’s beautiful) face there again.

[ArcanErasmus]

I spent an ingame week looking for enough small lcd screens to make a security camera control only to realize I had installed one for giggles on the vehicle I was using as a welding rig.
Spent an ingame week (again) crafting a handful of steel chains out of the bajillion I would need to make top-tier tracks, only to realize I could salvage them en mass from the broken treads on wrecked tanks.
Boiled water manually to fill up three 60L tanks before realizing that a foodco buddy can do that for you in one button [P]ress.
Wondered if I could outrun an autoturret’s aiming time in order to melee it. Actually, a future character did so successfully with Time Dilation CBM.
Hurt my character trying to drag something too heavy, then tried it again, twice.
Activated a car’s alarm, then got upset when my character wouldn’t fall asleep in bed no more than 10 tiles away. Ended up leaving town. Never thought to turn off the alarm.
Got mad that I kept messing up my butchering when I had no knife on me.
Panicked and thought my RV had been trashed while I was away when I came across a bashed up RV on the side of the road. I was still driving my RV.

[Artyom177]

Staying in the Refugee Center sleeping area.
Trying to organize inventory.
Accidentally lights match and other part of bed lights up on fire.
Fire quickly becomes worse.
Backs up to where a guard is guarding.
Watches as the guard stands completely still as the fire slowly engulfs him.
“Just on watch” He says. “Move along”.

Runs outside.
Watches entire Refugee Center slowly crumble away.
Deaf, blistered, and slowly dying from pain.
Remembers I forgot all my medical supplies, food, and weapons inside the Refugee Center.
Cries.

[woofinator]

>Panicked and thought my RV had been trashed while I was away when I came across a bashed up RV on the side of the road. I was still driving my RV.

Cannabism: Dank Days Ahead

[DeWolf]

Apparently staircases don’t have roofs as I was able to escape a prison by climbing a shelf up a down staircase.

[COS_Cecillian]

Attempting to rush cave, no stop, with a C4 to blow the rat king and his subjects to kingdom come. I forgot to drop the bomb. I don’t think it would have worked anyway, since in that version (at least) nothing happened on different z levels.