Oh, NPC!

linkfanpc · 2016-11-29T15:16:01.000Z

Post your silly/stupid stories about NPCs here! (Sorry if this is already a thing.)

Me: Dude, cmon, we killed them all. Let’s go find a hardware store or something.
NPC Buddy: Wait, who’s that?
Bandit NPC walks up to me
Bandit NPC: Drop your fire axe! Or else!
Me: Uh, okay. Drops it
Bandit NPC: steps closer Okay…don’t move…
Me: Wait a minute, looks at bandit NPC, realizes he’s unarmed Huh…
NPC Buddy: Just stands there while i get “robbed”

Me: Picks up fire axe, beats the living crap out of the bandit NPC. Dude, cmon, “we” killed him, let’s go find a hardware store or something.

DeclanFrost · 2016-11-29T15:26:33.000Z

The Tale of Urist Davis
riding shotgun in spike-plated deathmobile
"Hold on, let me pulp that zombie corpse!"
car-surfs on frame of deathmobile
gets pulped under 4 Tank Treads
End

linkfanpc · 2016-11-29T15:34:28.000Z

[quote=“DeclanFrost, post:2, topic:13044”]The Tale of Urist Davis
riding shotgun in spike-plated deathmobile
"Hold on, let me pulp that zombie corpse!"
car-surfs on frame of deathmobile
gets pulped under 4 Tank Treads
End[/quote]

TheFlame52 · 2016-11-29T16:34:08.000Z

I’ve got a story much like that, except he jumped out the back of the Solar Roller and got eaten by zombies.

DeclanFrost · 2016-11-29T16:46:03.000Z

TheFlame52:

I’ve got a story much like that, except he jumped out the back of the Solar Roller and got eaten by zombies.

But isn’t it so much better when for a few minutes they feel cool by car surfing before getting atom smashed by a beast of a deathmobile.

Charlesilv4 · 2016-11-29T18:00:25.000Z

I was in my base chilling, I see a npc and try to block him from entering in my base, so i go outside and wait in the only doorway, zombie sees me and both the npc and zombie tries to reach for me, I figure that the npc would kill the zombie…and kill the zombie he did…with a fu***ng flamethrower that hits the walls of my house and burn my base down. Then he ask me for help.

Oh the old times cdda.

ApatheticExcuse · 2016-11-29T19:13:36.000Z

Any NPC story I’ve ever had ends with them getting their hands on something they shouldn’t like a flamethrower and generally just wrecking everything, good and bad. Usually at that point I rage and kill them myself.

The best is doing a LMOE start and having the NPC try to roast ants or something next to the shelter entrance. Kinda makes me laugh to imagine the PC, having spent the last few months safe and sound in the shelter, opening the door and immediately stepping out into a firey hell.

I really need to play the experimentals more. 0.C stable NPCs are painful to have around.

DeclanFrost · 2016-11-29T21:02:20.000Z

ApatheticExcuse:

I really need to play the experimentals more. 0.C stable NPCs are painful to have around.

Oh, they’re still borked right now. Worse, since they have needs and such (but you can turn them off in worldgen.)

Vastin · 2016-11-29T21:33:12.000Z

ApatheticExcuse:

I really need to play the experimentals more. 0.C stable NPCs are painful to have around.

Am playing an experimental game right now - and in the savescum I’ve been playing with the one and only wandering NPC I have encountered is extremely anti-social has repeatedly found me in my basement and decorated the walls of it with my brains using an M1 Garand.

In related news, you’d think that long rifles would suffer a serious to-hit penalty in hand-to-hand, but you would be badly mistaken.

Rot · 2016-11-29T23:34:42.000Z

Vastin:

[quote=“ApatheticExcuse, post:7, topic:13044”]I really need to play the experimentals more. 0.C stable NPCs are painful to have around.

Am playing an experimental game right now - and in the savescum I’ve been playing with the one and only wandering NPC I have encountered is extremely anti-social has repeatedly found me in my basement and decorated the walls of it with my brains using an M1 Garand.

In related news, you’d think that long rifles would suffer a serious to-hit penalty in hand-to-hand, but you would be badly mistaken.[/quote]

Maybe the NPC has the stock resting on his shoulder, that way the barrel protrudes slightly outwards and is pointed toward you, without sticking out too much.
It can then fire by reaching behind and fiddling with the trigger using a coat hanger.

Or maybe it sacrificed a bullet to use magic and implode your head.

pisskop · 2016-11-30T01:04:48.000Z

An NPC tried to rob me.
I got in my truck and started to drive away.
He hung onto the car until I stopped, then moved at me again.
I resolved this by reversing into a horde that had a brute who tossed him through my gas tank.

TheFlame52 · 2016-11-30T02:05:24.000Z

Did anyone survive?

DeclanFrost · 2016-11-30T02:22:34.000Z

TheFlame52:

Did anyone survive?

The brute did, I bet.

pisskop · 2016-11-30T03:28:04.000Z

i made it to a house doorway. this was back when npcs just started their most recent transforming, ie wgen roadstops were new

Vastin · 2016-11-30T16:30:13.000Z

I’ve turned NPC’s back off for the time being. I don’t mind being robbed occasionally, but with their ability to teleport into your space while you are sleeping/crafting, they are just too obnoxious and dangerous to deal with.

TooDAMNMuch · 2016-12-01T00:16:15.000Z

[quote=“pisskop, post:11, topic:13044”]An NPC tried to rob me.
I got in my truck and started to drive away.
He hung onto the car until I stopped, then moved at me again.
I resolved this by reversing into a horde that had a brute who tossed him through my gas tank.[/quote]

jeez what a badass, is being tossed through a gas tank cataclysm’s burial at sea tradition now?

Litppunk · 2016-12-01T00:30:24.000Z

[quote=“TooDAMNMuch, post:16, topic:13044”][quote=“pisskop, post:11, topic:13044”]An NPC tried to rob me.
I got in my truck and started to drive away.
He hung onto the car until I stopped, then moved at me again.
I resolved this by reversing into a horde that had a brute who tossed him through my gas tank.[/quote]

jeez what a badass, is being tossed through a gas tank cataclysm’s burial at sea tradition now?[/quote]

That awkward moment you realize the game warden would swim 5 miles upstream through broken glass to give his own mother a fishing ticket NPC would fight through a zombie horde and cling to a car harder than a terminator to steal your bubblegum.

Mike64 · 2016-12-01T04:24:08.000Z

“Oh, NPC!” Kinda sounds like a sitcom to me. The NPC would be doing something funny, and most of the time stupid thing, and at the end of it all. It would zoom into the face of the NPC, giving a smug look, and everyone would say “Oh, NPC!” All while putting their hands on their hips.

Just thinking about that makes me want it as a show now.

linkfanpc · 2016-12-01T19:41:40.000Z

[quote=“Mike64, post:18, topic:13044”]“Oh, NPC!” Kinda sounds like a sitcom to me. The NPC would be doing something funny, and most of the time stupid thing, and at the end of it all, it would zoom into the face of the NPC, giving a smug look, and everyone would say “Oh, NPC!” All while putting their hands on their hips.

Just thinking about that makes me want it as a show now.[/quote]

HAHAHA! That’s awesome! XD

Litppunk · 2016-12-02T00:05:03.000Z

season 1 isn’t quite finished being written yet, but I’d watch it.