So I watched From Dusk Til Dawn the other night. We definitely need cod pieces, because I just really want to shoot a zombie with my “penis”. Maybe make them a wearable item that adds leg encumbrance.
No.
[quote=“FunsizeNinja123, post:2, topic:7546”]No.[/quote]Indeed.
Chopped fish, on the other hand…
Yeah, frozen fish FTW.
As for the OP, I’d stick it in in the Wacky Stuff Pack. Rivet posted the clip* back when the bonghit thread was still young, so I know the general idea. But things in the bonghit thread generally don’t qualify for inclusion, let alone mainline.
If you don’t mind taking about 30-40 pain, maybe a point of Torso damage per shot, since you take the recoil as a Groin Attack. And good luck aiming at any worthwhile range. And just in case: female characters can totally equip and fire groin guns, and take the same penalties for doing so.
*That said, the cylinders don’t appear to actually feed the barrel there. Vasectomy?
WHEE KNEED PENIZ GUNZ!
reads name cod-piece
Thinks for a bit…
Weapon description “Cod-Piece”
A somewhat bizarre attempt to use genetic engineering to mass-produce weapons, the Cod-Piece is a reasonably effective, if slightly smelly, firearm. In water, it resembles a large, slightly misshapen cod. When a certain nerve ending on the side of the fish is pressed, muscles in the body stiffen to fix the fish into a rifle-like shape, readying it for use.
The fish itself is a marvel of genetic engineering. The DNA of clubmoss (the spores of which were used centuries ago to produce bright flashes of light for cameras), was used to design an organ which produces a flammable substance that is used for propellant, which is ignited via a small spark from an organ designed from electric eel DNA. The projectile, formed from bone, is fired out of a “barrel” of cartilage that is situated under the fishes’ dorsal fin, which serves as a sight. The trigger is another collection of nerve endings on the bottom of the fish near where the trigger on a conventional weapon would be. As a last resort, a separate nerve cluster (hidden under a flap of protective skin) will cause a delayed reaction that will detonate the entire propellant gland at once, turning the fish into a crude fragmentation grenade. The fish is most easily hurled like a spear instead of a grenade; obviously this also renders the fish unsuited for further use.
A well-fed Cod-Piece can fire 20 rounds, after which it must be released into water to find food and replenish itself; this process takes about 24 hours. The fish cycles a new round into position automatically, however the process takes time, about the same speed of a bolt-action rifle. The fish can survive out of water for about 72 hours, as fixing it into rifle shape puts most of its internal organs into a form of hibernation. It also possesses a swordfish-like bill, similar to a bayonet, for use in close quarters or when low on ammo.
The Cod-Piece was meant to be a way to covertly support friendly guerrilla groups in hostile countries with a self-building weapon (the fish reproduce quickly). However, due to the Cataclysm, some of the prototypes seem to have escaped into the local ecosystem, where they are thriving. They now represent a valuable resource to any survivor with a fishing rod who needs a means to defend themselves.
They’re also quite tasty, however great care must be taken to remove the propellant organ BEFORE cooking.
Not sure what to think of that reaction. Do you think the joke is bad, or the idea for the item?
[quote=“Natures Witness, post:8, topic:7546”]Not sure what to think of that reaction. Do you think the joke is bad, or the idea for the item?[/quote]Both.
The joke is pretty funny.
I think it might actually make for a good item. There’s already a lot of genetic engineering in Cata, I think this is fairly reasonable. It’s not the most powerful item ever, but it’s fairly useful. I like to think up new items that show science is trying to expand in new directions, and I think Cata could do with a little more focus on biotechnology other than just mutations; this could be a good start.
Ehh I dont really like the idea.
Biotech was second-fiddle to teleportation, and USian efforts to supply guerrilla fighters (leastwise in WWII) were generally cheap, high-powered, single-shot disposable guns airdropped with instructions to find an occupier, BOOM headshot, and take xyr weapon.
That said, this is marginally better than the groin-mounted firearm, and I’d include it in the Wacky Item Pack just as readily.
[quote=“Natures Witness, post:6, topic:7546”]reads name cod-piece
Thinks for a bit…
Weapon description “Cod-Piece”
A somewhat bizarre attempt to use genetic engineering to mass-produce weapons, the Cod-Piece is a reasonably effective, if slightly smelly, firearm. In water, it resembles a large, slightly misshapen cod. When a certain nerve ending on the side of the fish is pressed, muscles in the body stiffen to fix the fish into a rifle-like shape, readying it for use.
The fish itself is a marvel of genetic engineering. The DNA of clubmoss (the spores of which were used centuries ago to produce bright flashes of light for cameras), was used to design an organ which produces a flammable substance that is used for propellant, which is ignited via a small spark from an organ designed from electric eel DNA. The projectile, formed from bone, is fired out of a “barrel” of cartilage that is situated under the fishes’ dorsal fin, which serves as a sight. The trigger is another collection of nerve endings on the bottom of the fish near where the trigger on a conventional weapon would be. As a last resort, a separate nerve cluster (hidden under a flap of protective skin) will cause a delayed reaction that will detonate the entire propellant gland at once, turning the fish into a crude fragmentation grenade. The fish is most easily hurled like a spear instead of a grenade; obviously this also renders the fish unsuited for further use.
A well-fed Cod-Piece can fire 20 rounds, after which it must be released into water to find food and replenish itself; this process takes about 24 hours. The fish cycles a new round into position automatically, however the process takes time, about the same speed of a bolt-action rifle. The fish can survive out of water for about 72 hours, as fixing it into rifle shape puts most of its internal organs into a form of hibernation. It also possesses a swordfish-like bill, similar to a bayonet, for use in close quarters or when low on ammo.
The Cod-Piece was meant to be a way to covertly support friendly guerrilla groups in hostile countries with a self-building weapon (the fish reproduce quickly). However, due to the Cataclysm, some of the prototypes seem to have escaped into the local ecosystem, where they are thriving. They now represent a valuable resource to any survivor with a fishing rod who needs a means to defend themselves.
They’re also quite tasty, however great care must be taken to remove the propellant organ BEFORE cooking.[/quote]
Did somebody say “weaponized fish?”
We could always use an item to add to our joke roster.
Like the Jaqueshammer
[size=6pt]Hon hon hon hon hon Baguette[/size]
I actually was trying to make this slightly serious, if somewhat odd. It’s sort of a first step into dedicated biotechnology, a concept I feel is unfairly neglected in games in general.
I think fish would be an ideal platform for the kind of mass-production this was intended for. They reproduce quickly and are easy to care for, just toss them in a pond with food and you’re set.
I guess the science behind them may simply be too advanced for Cata for them to be realistically implemented though.