A short anecdote to share

CarrierPrimoris · 2013-12-21T16:40:54.000Z

I had a wonderful experience within a recent game of Cataclysm, and, as no one else is awake at my residence, I have decided to share it with you fine folk.

After a short absence, I had decided to check on Cataclysm. After a short while, I came across a sight I had never seen previously. This missing-numberesque tragedy, a nine (or so) car pile-up, piqued my interest by it’s sheer volume. I immediately examined the monument to destruction. In satisfying my curiosity I noticed a functional gas tank among the debris.

“Imagine,” I mused to my nearby brother, “if there were a working set of controls, I could drive this monster.”

I, of course, swiftly found such a set. With glee, I fed the beast all the fuel I could hastily procure, and moved to enact my one and only goal: I’m Gonna Ride It! The many engines roared to life, deafening me, and surged the veritable symbol of the apocalypse forward with a fury and a passion. It was glory, like a sedan chair made of sedans, hoisted on the shoulders of drunken zombie hulks (I had no drive skill at the time). It strode through the streets, careening off cars and walls, scything down zombies and wildlife while sowing scrap metal from the parts it was shaking off. Giggling like a fool, I took a shortcut through a field to reach my base. I struck down several creatures and skidded in the bloody mud right into a minefield. Explosions began to rock my abomination as metal filled the air like a range of erupting, steel volcanoes! Finally, I brought the screaming, shuddering horror to an end as I killed the engine outside of my base.

I would describe the experience as Absolute Metal. Does anyone else have an fun Cataclysm story they would like to share?

FunsizeNinja123 · 2013-12-21T16:42:32.000Z

Holy crap this is much fancy

I once killed a jabberwock with a beetle (The car).

CarrierPrimoris · 2013-12-21T16:55:49.000Z

Critical hit, indeed, Mr. Ninja.

For some reason, I imagine a nature documentary on the jabberwock. It’s all footage and calm, english narrator until, in one scene, there’s some honking. Then you drive through the frame in a beat up beetle and run right over it. Whump!

I love it!

DG123 · 2013-12-21T17:15:09.000Z

My best so far involved a zweihander, a school full of a ridiculous amount of zombies and zombie kids, and a continuous glorious slaughter that ended up with every zombie in the entire place piled up in front of two window frames. And myself being barely hurt.

Datanazush · 2013-12-21T18:54:45.000Z

My favourite story involves driving the WarTrukk past a school, getting all the little zombie children’s attention, then coming around for another pass at ~230km/hr; after the first few I felt like widening the kill zone, so I slammed the handbrake on to powerslide sideways, ran down all but like 5 of the bastards with one pass. Painted the entire street red too, too bad it made me absolutely SADFACED all day from feeling “Guilty”.

On a side note, some of the shit I say about cataclysm is sure to get me put on a watch list.

Rivet · 2013-12-21T23:10:31.000Z

[quote=“CarrierPrimoris, post:1, topic:4581”]I had a wonderful experience within a recent game of Cataclysm, and, as no one else is awake at my residence, I have decided to share it with you fine folk.

-snipped for brevity-[/quote]

That was indeed very metal. In fact, it sounds worthy of a Dethklok video.

Were you drinking whiskey at the time? I find that pounding down alcohol is an excellent accompaniment to mulching zombies beneath one’s tires.

DG123 · 2013-12-21T23:26:46.000Z

[quote=“Datanazush, post:5, topic:4581”]My favourite story involves driving the WarTrukk past a school, getting all the little zombie children’s attention, then coming around for another pass at ~230km/hr; after the first few I felt like widening the kill zone, so I slammed the handbrake on to powerslide sideways, ran down all but like 5 of the bastards with one pass. Painted the entire street red too, too bad it made me absolutely SADFACED all day from feeling “Guilty”.

On a side note, some of the shit I say about cataclysm is sure to get me put on a watch list.[/quote]

You know, this story could be improved if we had the ability to carve writing onto the truck instead of just onto items.

“FREE CANDY”.

Or should that be flesh?

CarrierPrimoris · 2013-12-22T03:18:56.000Z

I forgot the drink! That’s what that nagging feeling was. I’m a little disappointed with myself for neglecting the necessities. The next undead-slaying rampage will be brought to you you by the letter booze, have no doubt.

Large metal objects and schools just seem to go well together. I’m happy to see the heartless trait make a comeback, seeing as many of us (at least) had it on in our hearts. : )

I think we need icecream trucks. The music jingle thing could attract child zombies from farther than normal, and you could transplant it into other vehicles. Also ride-a-mowers, for destroying bodies en masse, and for drunken antics.

jimboblordofeskimos · 2013-12-22T06:00:53.000Z

I found that nifty 4 shot rocket launcher and some rockets for it. I managed to kill 2 cats, a bear and an @.

CarrierPrimoris · 2013-12-23T08:20:56.000Z

If I possessed a quad-launcher, I do believe I would use it to reduce the ursine population, as well. Someone failed to mention to me that bears now swarm in New England…even beyond the grave.

Additionally, those @s are all uncouth louts, and deserve rocket-assisted relocation. Unlike the fine ladies and gentlemen on this forum. Huzzah to you, Mr. Jimbob, for clearing out the riffraff.

Rivet · 2013-12-23T09:10:49.000Z

A word of warning to all the potential firebugs in here: DO NOT get anywhere near the fires that result from firing your M202 FLASH at stuff. Fire it and get the heck away from the results ASAP.

The triethylaluminum/polyisobutylene pyrophoric agent (TPA) that those M235 rockets spread all over the place burns hotter than pretty much any fire you’ll ever encounter in the game. Just standing in the general vicinity of the flames is usually enough to roast you alive, and attempting to walk through them is basically suicide - even with full fire protection gear and all the thermal-protection bionics.

CarrierPrimoris · 2013-12-24T10:23:32.000Z

I encourage all those that took the previous post as a challenge to post the results in this thread. I’ll procure the barbecue sauce!

Rivet · 2013-12-24T10:31:41.000Z

CarrierPrimoris:

I encourage all those that took the previous post as a challenge to post the results in this thread. I’ll procure the barbecue sauce!

I like the way you think.

I’ll make the coleslaw.

aleksix · 2013-12-26T18:30:54.000Z

Got bored while driving a truck full of different goodies. Used everything that could boost
e(coffee,meth,atomic coffee, etc.).Then I managed to outrun my 100 km/h car. Well, it didn’t last long… A creative way to kill yourself!
By the way, Rivtech atomic things are awesome. Too bad we don’t have atomic cocaine and atomic sigars.

CarrierPrimoris · 2013-12-28T10:07:01.000Z

Mr. Alek, your story is temporarily inspiring, and thus I temporarily salute you, sir.

Faster than a speeding bullet…for a while. Smush!

HunterAlpha1 · 2013-12-31T09:52:21.000Z

i’m trying this the next time i get bored.

Fish · 2014-01-06T01:03:07.000Z

I don’t have a nearly as awesome or funny story but here’s mine.
I found that driving a 3 tile long motorcycle with armour plating and 28" wide wheels going through various windows and buildings is a very fun experience and its even better to fire off chain lightning at random zombies! Makes you feel like a Matrix character.