Start a custom character.
Give yourself minimum stats, no positive traits. Take Hardcore, Glass Jaw and Meat Intolerant.
Spend all the remaining points on Driving and Swimming. If you somehow find a car, you’ll be a hell of a driver.
Post your best time (and day number if you live that long). I recommend running from EVERYTHING.
Attached is my first attempt- I was running down a hallway with a smoker at my back only to see the door smash open and reveal… yeah.
My latest random char comes close to your specs
- in fact is the worst char i’ve ever had, but a lucky one until now( also static spawn) - just check for yourself, i had some serious doubts when it was generated
[URL=http://s1050.photobucket.com/user/Ferodaktyl/media/cdda/Random.png.html]
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Wow, looks like you turned out pretty well with that. I haven’t done Drunken Master in a while. Is it any good?
I’m assuming this is on static spawn yeah? Not dynamic?
err, actually it’s dynamic spawn …
I was referring to the OP, since the time in his picture is before spawns should show up in dynamic mode (excluding special spawns such as schools/megastores/etc.) 
Static and Dynamic are allowed. They have their differences, I’d say Dynamic is easier to start but even harder when you get to the second or third day.
Well, 'tis a good thing to drive by and kill, but if you want real trouble - unpack those RPGs and reel some thousands in a town center, pop a can of soda and see what happens.