So suppose you’re driving along and you encounter a forest. What are you going to do? Drive around it? What are you, some kind of TREE HUGGING HIPPIE?
HELL NO. This is AMERICA. That forest has got to go.
1: find yourself a vehicle with lots of power, durability, and mass. A semi truck will do nicely. The bigger the better. You can find functional semi trucks on most bridges, all they need is gas.
2: buckle up. This is going to be a bouncy ride.
3: Drive up to the forest. Go ahead and hit it at forty miles an hour or so to get started.
4: Now, turn on cruise control and throttle up all the way.
5: Hold the diagonal acceleration key. Your vehicle will tear up trees and bushes and carve a beautiful path through that unseemly forest. If you get stuck, or need to turn around, hold one of the other three diagonal acceleration keys. If this doesn’t work, you may need more driving skill, or a more powerful engine.
6: Abandon your vehicle once it has done its job. Let it stand for all eternity as a monument to the triumph of man over nature. Also, it’ll be completely wrecked and not worth the time to salvage.
Notes:
This burns through fuel FAST. If you’re using a semi, you might want to bring a few fuel cans and leave them somewhere safe so you can walk over and get them.
No explosives in the car. Electric engines are good. If you’re using a gasoline engine, you might want to wear all your armor, just in case.
If you’re doing this in a car you can’t afford to have damaged, don’t. Go find yourself something you can throw away.
