I just finished a mini adventure.
It all started during the usual exploration runs I do, taking the streets back from the zeds, one block at a time. I’m currently looting all sorts of wonderful and weird gun modifications to complete my arsenal of overly tacticool weapons. Naturally, I’ve been hitting every gun store on the map for their delicious bullets, mods and guns, adding to my already over sized stockpile of ordinance that I’m never going to really use. After hauling all the useful ammo out of the latest gun store, I paused to study the map and plan a route through the city to the next store. I remember looking at the map and thinking to myself; ‘Man, if all the houses were gun stores, this would be a whole lot more straightforward’.
Then it dawned on me. Some houses have basements. Some basements have guns. So began my new quest of kleptomania, breaking in to everybody’s house to steal all the firepower that appealed to me. I made some great progress; after looting all the guns that weren’t safely secured (and hacking open every safe of the guns that were) I had a pile of weapons to rival most armouries. Then I found something… strange.
In one particular basement, I noticed something wasn’t quite right. One of the walls was illuminated, even in the pitch blackness. This didn’t make any sense, something was lighting that section of wall up and a brief investigation of the entire basement revealed no source of the light. I run up to the surface to my vehicle, grab my jackhammer and head downstairs to find the answer to this mystery. I walk up to the illuminated wall, cross my fingers, then activate the jackhammer:
Well that explains that, but the mystery gets deeper. After knocking the wall down to the center of the Earth, I distinctly hear laughter. Loud, almost evil, laughter. I look out over the broiling lava, half expecting to see some sort of Nether demon to have made the rift his new home. There’s nothing there. Puzzled, I activate the jackhammer on another section of wall to give me a better view of the surrounding area.
I hear it again! Loud and confident laughter. And it’s coming from the direction I just mined. Intrigued, I continue taking down sheer rock walls to find the source of this laughter (It’s got to be a demon from hell, there’s no other explanation. I mean, there’s fire and brimstone everywhere right now) I keep digging through the rock. It’s long work, the demon must be a long way away. Then jackhammer runs out of fuel. No matter, I return with a jerrycan full of gasoline. I will find the answer to this mystery!
After toiling for far too long, I find the answer. Disgusted, I save, exit, log onto the forums and make this stupid post.
Ten minutes of juggling a jerrycan later, I realise the source of the laughter was my Jacqueshammer. God. Damn. It.
