If somebody takes what you said the wrong way, and especially if it’s a delicate thing or they’re in an uncomfortable spot- ala KA101- the response should not be “well, if you took offense, you shouldn’t listen”. My sis once had a really awful argument with our mom and made her really upset. In the morning she put up a post-it saying “sorry that you felt bad”. Instead of taking responsibility she directly blamed it on the person hurt. It’s been a long time since that incident and we still make fun of it today, but that’s what you’re doing right now, and it’s not nice.
If somebody takes what you said the wrong way, and especially if it’s a delicate thing or they’re in an uncomfortable spot- ala KA101- the response should not be “well, if you took offense, you shouldn’t listen”. My sis once had a really awful argument with our mom and made her really upset. In the morning she put up a post-it saying “sorry that you felt bad”. Instead of taking responsibility she directly blamed it on the person hurt. It’s been a long time since that incident and we still make fun of it today, but that’s what you’re doing right now, and it’s not nice.
Stop.[/quote]
My original intention was never to attack KA or hurt xys feelings. What I did was make a completely innocent suggestion for the improvement of the item we are discussing in this thread, KA responded to it in a way that made it seem like xe was frustrated with my suggestion, and all I was trying to do was reassure xim that xe doesn’t NEED to follow my suggestion if it’s so pressingly frustrated that xe needs to complain that I am “giving [xim] crap” just for making said suggestion. I’m sorry if I come off as a bit of a dick by saying this, but I don’t really think I have anything to apologize for other than the fact that my suggestion was interpreted as something bad. If you still feel strongly about this, maybe we should take this to PMs so you can explain your viewpoint better.
This can very easily come across as condescending or ungrateful, is all. Certainly KA101 gets a lot of requests in a day, and some are even more demanding. I just don’t think saying “well, it’s your fault for taking offense” is in any way the right response. Sometimes it’s right to apologize even if you’re not feeling incredibly sorry, because at least it evens the playing fields a bit, rather than making this dichotomy of a thing.
This can very easily come across as condescending or ungrateful, is all. Certainly KA101 gets a lot of requests in a day, and some are even more demanding. I just don’t think saying “well, it’s your fault for taking offense” is in any way the right response. Sometimes it’s right to apologize even if you’re not feeling incredibly sorry, because at least it evens the playing fields a bit, rather than making this dichotomy of a thing.[/quote]
I honestly fail to see the condescension in the statement you quoted. That’s why I suggested taking this to PMs, so we don’t further clog up the thread with this argument about proper apology protocol (at the risk of this spawning a derail OF a derail, insane as that sounds).
In addition, I respect you for jumping in to speak up for my alleged transgression against KA101, but if xe had a problem with anything I said, I would much prefer it if xe dealt with me ximself instead of you speaking for another person. I hope we can put all of this behind us.
(As a follow-up suggestion to the orientation-neutral masturbation aid idea from earlier, perhaps we could add an “add fatigue” tag to reading Playboy magazines, because they’re basically being used for the same purposes as the vibrator is? Unless there’s a problem with adding this tag to a book, I would think it would be easier than adding an entirely new item like somebody else suggested. Just a thought.)
I’ll take it to PM if I’ve got anything nicer to say, yeah.
The thing about being “not obligated to be wounded” just really caught me off guard. It’s almost something of a parody in my personal experience, and I knew you weren’t joking, so I felt like saying what felt appropriate.
Whenever I read the word ‘xys’ I just imagine a really muscly, dead, Australian dude.
Also, for what it’s worth I didn’t view the original comment from IcedPee to be offensive, or crap-giving (for lack of a better term…) at all. He literally just said that the question had kind of been bugging him, and then made a comment regarding an idea of making the device already in the game more gender/orientation neutral (presumably to avoid asking the devs to actually implement a ‘masturbation’ function which would presumably be deemed unwanted by most people as it would have to be attached to a keybind or something weird instead of an item??).
From an outsider’s perspective it would seem that KA101 has received a fair amount of backlash for introducing the first (AFAIK) overtly sexual item to the game, and as such xyr is probably expecting to find more of the same in future criticism and commentary. This is known as confirmation bias, and it’s sadly very much ingrained in the human psyche.
Maybe you could simply note in the items description that it is double ended for either gender’s pleasure? Since fleshlights are pretty much vibrators themselves, AFAIK.
That said, I personally don’t care, I view vibrators in general as largely gender neutral, though I know society tends to enforce a view of them being only for females and homosexual men.
Oh, and masturbation can’t be a thing because everything beneficial needs to consume a resource, and the ability to make yourself tired at will is very desirable and thus needs a high value resource.
Isn’t a double ended vibrator intended for two people to use? I’d be surprised (but not really) if there was a model out there that was half-fleshlight half-vibrator. It seems to defeat the purpose of actually needing the toy in the first place.
I agree, but it would be a way to appease people who are uncomfortable with the thought of using a traditional vibe without adding a dedicated fleshlight item. That said, there could always just be a dedicated fleshlight.
[quote=“acehawk, post:67, topic:6274”]Maybe you could simply note in the items description that it is double ended for either gender’s pleasure? Since fleshlights are pretty much vibrators themselves, AFAIK.
That said, I personally don’t care, I view vibrators in general as largely gender neutral, though I know society tends to enforce a view of them being only for females and homosexual men.
Oh, and masturbation can’t be a thing because everything beneficial needs to consume a resource, and the ability to make yourself tired at will is very desirable and thus needs a high value resource.[/quote]
We could rename it to ‘sex toy’ and be terribly obvious as to its intended purpose, yet completely vague as to what form it actually takes.
And it uses resources. Batteries and physical exhaustion in this case.
[quote=“Rivet, post:71, topic:6274”][quote=“acehawk, post:67, topic:6274”]Maybe you could simply note in the items description that it is double ended for either gender’s pleasure? Since fleshlights are pretty much vibrators themselves, AFAIK.
That said, I personally don’t care, I view vibrators in general as largely gender neutral, though I know society tends to enforce a view of them being only for females and homosexual men.
Oh, and masturbation can’t be a thing because everything beneficial needs to consume a resource, and the ability to make yourself tired at will is very desirable and thus needs a high value resource.[/quote]
We could rename it to ‘sex toy’ and be terribly obvious as to its intended purpose, yet completely vague as to what form it actually takes.
And it uses resources. Batteries and physical exhaustion in this case.[/quote]
But I thought Kevin’s entire point was that he didn’t want to rename it?
I’m not as strongly against making the name more generic as I am changing it to something that pretends it’s something other than what it is. One is being vague, the other is being dishonest.
That having been said, I’d rather leave it as it is. Fleshlights and the ilk are vanishingly rare compared to vibrators, so the chances you’re going to run across one are orders of magnitude lower than the chances of running across a vibrator, if your character has some kind of hangup that prevents them from using what’s at hand, well that’s the heart of role playing, isn’t it? Embrace the dilemma!
[quote=“TinHead, post:73, topic:6274”]These forums are becoming more and more like the DF forums.
This is the greatest moment of my life.[/quote]
Hahaha, I have no idea if that’s a compliment or an insult.
[quote=“Anoahmous”]This a somewhat old story, but after getting my first vehicle (can’t remember what it was), I encountered two zombears fighting, and since hostile mobs fighting is so rare, I decided to watch. A coyote or two joined in on the fun, then they all came after me.
It was way too lucky that I had a vehicle.[/quote]Dude, wrong thread, you’re derailing the derail.
[quote=“HunterAlpha1, post:76, topic:6274”][quote=“Anoahmous”]This a somewhat old story, but after getting my first vehicle (can’t remember what it was), I encountered two zombears fighting, and since hostile mobs fighting is so rare, I decided to watch. A coyote or two joined in on the fun, then they all came after me.
It was way too lucky that I had a vehicle.[/quote]Dude, wrong thread, you’re derailing the derail.[/quote]
[quote=“Kevin Granade, post:74, topic:6274”]I’m not as strongly against making the name more generic as I am changing it to something that pretends it’s something other than what it is. One is being vague, the other is being dishonest.
That having been said, I’d rather leave it as it is. Fleshlights and the ilk are vanishingly rare compared to vibrators, so the chances you’re going to run across one are orders of magnitude lower than the chances of running across a vibrator, if your character has some kind of hangup that prevents them from using what’s at hand, well that’s the heart of role playing, isn’t it? Embrace the dilemma![/quote]
I…. disagree that one type of sex toy is significantly more rare than the other, to the extent of exclusion from the game entirely. I’d assume there are just as many lonely sex-deprived people who enjoy vibrators as enjoy fleshlights/onaholes. Hell, I would think that in almost every loser-nerd-living-in-parent’s-basement type situation, there would probably be a self-pleasuring device around somewhere.
Hang on a second.
That’s actually a pretty good idea for a new type of basement.
[quote=“IcedPee, post:78, topic:6274”]I…. disagree that one type of sex toy is significantly more rare than the other, to the extent of exclusion from the game entirely. I’d assume there are just as many lonely sex-deprived people who enjoy vibrators as enjoy fleshlights/onaholes. Hell, I would think that in almost every loser-nerd-living-in-parent’s-basement type situation, there would probably be a self-pleasuring device around somewhere.
Hang on a second.
That’s actually a pretty good idea for a new type of basement.[/quote]
It would warrant the inclusion of the long awaited fedora item.
[quote=“Leper, post:79, topic:6274”][quote=“IcedPee, post:78, topic:6274”]I…. disagree that one type of sex toy is significantly more rare than the other, to the extent of exclusion from the game entirely. I’d assume there are just as many lonely sex-deprived people who enjoy vibrators as enjoy fleshlights/onaholes. Hell, I would think that in almost every loser-nerd-living-in-parent’s-basement type situation, there would probably be a self-pleasuring device around somewhere.
Hang on a second.
That’s actually a pretty good idea for a new type of basement.[/quote]
It would warrant the inclusion of the long awaited fedora item.[/quote]
(a)ctivate your fedora? Y/N Y
Survivor McNiceguy tips his fedora.
“M’lady.”
