This is a short novel I am currently writing to practice my English. This is loosely based on one of my runs. (If there are grammatical errors please point out as I am not a native English speaker and you correcting my grammar is better than my own self assessment).
In the wake of the nightmarish cataclysm, things turned to hell in just a few days. Cities dilapidated and overran by the living dead. Roads littered with vehicular wreckages and dead bodies, with some even rising. Abominations, only seen in movies and nightmares, started appearing and wreaking havoc and death wherever they go.
In this apocalyptic times a prison truly becomes a prison. A prison where death sentence is not issued by the law, but served by other prisoners that turns on you as they claw and bite you with their rotting bodies. Prison-break does not mean freedom now, it means survival.
And survival is what this unfortunate prisoner desperately desire.
Alfred Hanseem, from a family of syndicate and underground business, learned the harshness of reality at a young age. Dog eat dog, eye for an eye, laws of the jungle, this are the things ingrained in his skull that allowed him to survive till this day. This made his personality deranged and psychotic to the point of habitually thinking of killing.
Then one important day, the day where they robbed a bank, a grunt tasked with the escape vehicle never showed up. Alfred and his cohorts got arrested got sent to prison. Alfred has it worse as he was facing death sentence. Apparently he shot 2 of the bank clerks dead while they where robbing. Hearings after hearings, the day of his execution kept getting postponed.
Until no one is left to lawfully execute him, yet this time it’s worse. The cataclysm happens, instead of a civilized punishment of death, this time it becomes a struggle for survival in a jungle of abominations and this is just the best environment for this psychotic maniac of a man.
The room is dark, yet one could see two glowing red orbs floating on a corner. This are the eyes of a predator ready to slaughter its prey. The eyes kept getting closer and now we could see a black haired, middle aged man, dressed in stripes of black and white, carrying a pipe with blood dripping on its tips. With a smirk on his face he happily swung his pipe and it landed on something that seems to look human but not. He kept laughing as he swung at the other humanoids and he seems to be enjoying it.
Alfred is currently surrounded by his prison mates and a prison guard that turned to zombies and now trying to maul him. With no remorse he bashes them with a pipe until eventually, with his quick maneuvering and great sense of combat,all 7 of the dead are truly dead. After enjoying the bloodbath he created, he started looking around his surroundings to find a way out. But with no lighting around he couldn’t see much. He decided to search through the corpses and fortunately he found a flashlight on the guard’s body, yet no other useful things beside that. Using the flashlight he looked through the place and he spotted where the door is at. He tried to open it but to no avail the door is locked from the outside. Realizing this, he gripped the pipe with both his hands and he bashed and bashed until he busted his way out. And as he got out of the room he saw many more undead around the compound.
Alfred knew that the only way out of this prison compound is through the locked metal doors through the police’s office and locker room. He couldn’t possibly smash through a metal door with his pipe so the only thing to do is to lockpick his way out. Luckily he has got the skill to pick locks yet without some lockpicks, his skill is useless. While he was deep in thought, the zombies noticed him and now nearing him.
Still tired from his last battle and from smashing through a door, Alfred decided it’s best to avoid combat for now as he retreated to a wire fence. Alfred knew where he could get tools to build lockpicks from do he climbed up the fence and proceeded to the workshop just a turn from the corner. Jogging his way through the path, he saw prisoner-turned zombies clawing and trying to smash through the metal windows. He ignored them and eventually he reached the workshop where he saw tools inside and a zombie he eagerly wanted to kill. After smashing his way through the door, he quickly ran to the other side of the room where he and the zombie are separated by a long table. Causing the zombie to stumble onto the table where it would become a sitting duck ready to be slaughtered. And so he waited until the zombie crawled on the table then he bashed its head until the zombie stopped moving entirely.
After making sure the zombie is dead by pulping it, Alfred looked for something to make lockpicks with. And there he found a hammer on one of the lockers. He also found a wood axe, and as he appraised it, perfect for cleaving through flesh and bones of his enemies. Still looking for materials to make lockpicks with, he suddenly remembered that one of his grunts before made some improvised lockpicks with wires. So he looked around and saw a destroyed fence, maybe from some of the zombies’ clawing, and he inspected its wires to be usable as a lockpick. Using his hammer he bent and twisted the wires until they could be shaped and as usable a lockpick.
He got out of the workshop with his usual smirk maybe due to being able to successfully aquire what he got here for or maybe he was just excited to cut some zombies with his new wood axe.
After about 2 hours of alternating from lockpicking the metal door and bashing zombies’ heads, Alfred finally succeeded in picking the lock. As the door swung open, a zombie dressed in police uniform pounced at him. The zombie grabbed him by the arm and bit his shoulders and it looks like it hurts a lot that Alfred was in so much pain he screamed. He recovered from it quickly as he gritted his teeth and pulled his arm from the zombies grab. While backing away, he saw more zombies behind the grabbing bastard.
He knew he couldn’t fight with that many zombies in an open field without obstacles to his advantage, so he decided it’s best to run away first and recover his stamina while the zombies spread out so he could take them on one by one. Without delay, he ran to the wire fence and climbed to the other side hoping it would block of his pursuers. After thinking for a while, he decided to return to the workshop where he cleaned up of zombies from before. He rested for 10 minutes while putting pressure on his bleeding torso.
To pass more time for the zombies to disperse, he crafted more lockpicks just to be stocked with ample amount of it for future use. He got out of his hiding place as soon as he is finished crafting and started hunting down the rest of the zombies. After some time, the prison grounds, not including the insides of the buildings, was devoid of any zombies.
Alfred finally got time to explore the grounds and look for useful tools. He noticed some sheets in the laundry room, so making use of what he is given with, he tied them up to make a makeshift storage for him to put loot in.
In just a short time of looting, his bag was filled with hammer, wires, screwdriver and etc. Things he potentially needs when at later date. Yet finding something to protect his body from claws and bites could not be postponed at a later date. With this in mind he started searching for clothing he could wear. And just as he turned his sight he saw a two buildings, which seems to be watch towers, that are closed off with metal doors. And his guts were telling him that there must be important stuff there to check out, maybe even protective clothings he desperately needed.
He lockpicked his way inside one of the buildings. What he found inside made his already good mood, from killing zombies, rise even more. He found a riot armor with some shotgun bullets. This is basically an answered prayer for him, yet I doubt he even believes in any gods.
He put on the riot armor which perfectly fits him and took the shotgun bullets, maybe he could find a shotgun somewhere. Delighted from finding good loot, he eagerly ran to the other building and tried to lockpick his way in there too. And without surprise he opened the locked door and he rushed inside. He found another riot armor, which he didn’t really need now that he has one, and a tonfa which slightly disappointed him. It seems his luck has ran out this time.
He decided to leave now that there seems to be no useful thing left for him to loot. But as he was passing by the lockers room, he briefly checked them and found some blackjacks, which are not really better than his wood axe so he left them. He also found arm guards that he promptly wore for more protection.
All geared up and ready to venture into this lawless new world, he stepped out of the prison door. Leaving behind a prison, no a museum decorated with exhibits of fleshy remains and paintings of splattered guts and blood.
…there are grammatical errors please point them out as I am…
…A prison where A death sentence is not…
…other prisoners that turn (no “s”) on you…
I understand what you mean, but I have never read the word “syndicate” used in a sentence like this before. I don’t think it breaks any actual grammar rules though. It sounds better to me is you write:
Alfred Hanseem, from a family of syndicate, underground buisness, learned the harshness of…
Alfred and his cohorts got arrested, and were sentenced to prison…
Alfred had it worse as he was facing a death sentance
…two glowing red orbs floating in a corner…
These are the eyes of a predator…
and a prison guard that turned to zombies and are now trying… OR …zombies and now try (no ing) to maul him.
…flashlight on the guard’s body, yet no other useful things besides.
…the place and he spotted the door OR and he spotted where the door is (no at).
tried to open it but to no avail, (comma) the door is locked from the outside.
Luckily he has the skill to pick locks , (comma) yet without some lockpicks (no comma) his skill is useless.
the zombies noticed him and are now drawing near him.
Alfred knew where he could get tools to build lockpicks from so he climbed a fence and proceeded to the workshop around the corner.
So he waited until the zombie crawled onto the table then he bashed its head until…
and he appraised it, seeing it was perfect for cleaving through the flesh and bones of his enemies.
And he inspected the wires, to see if they could be used as a lockpick. Using his hammer, (comma) he bent and twisted the wires until they were the correct shape.
He got out of the workshop with his usual smirk, (comma) maybe due to successfully acquiring what he came for. (period) Or maybe he was just excited to cut some zombies with his new wood axe.
bit his shoulders and it looks like it hurt a lot. Alfred was in so much pain he screamed.
…out of his hiding place as soon as he (no is) finished crafting and…
In just a short time of looting, his bag was filled with a hammer, wires, screwdriver, etc. Things he potentially would need at a later date. Yet finding something to protect his body from claws and bites could not be postponed.
And just as he turned Alfred saw two buildings, which seemed to be watch towers…
And his gut was telling him that there must be important stuff there to check out, maybe even the protective clothing he desperately needed.
He wound riot armor (no “a”) with some shotgun shells (lots of little bullets inside shotgun shells)
Leaving behind a prison, no, (comma) a museum decorated with…
Thank you for the feedback. Looking at it, I seem to have a habit of adding unnecessary words to my writings.
Alfred Hanseem, a death row inmate who got trapped in prison after the cataclysm happened. After escaping the hellish predicament inside the prison, Alfred decided it was best to find some way to contact his family. Knowing how powerful his family was, maybe they have survived the apocalypse and he could reunite with them. He didn’t particularly like them but with the situation at hand, they are the only ones he could cling onto to survive.
But first, he needs to find a shelter to rest in as his body’s aching all over, from the fight from earlier. Looking around through this verdurous forest doesn’t help in assessing his location so, with large strides, he hurriedly headed out to the open field just ahead. But he was stopped by a wild boar charging at him at full speed. Alfred assessed that he couldn’t outrun the boar with all the tall grasses and bushes hindering his escape. So he decided to hold his ground as he gripped his axe in front of him and lowered his posture, assuming a battle stance perhaps, while glaring at the prey approaching him.
Without hesitation, Alfred quickly swung his axe the moment the boar was in his range. He didn’t even worry about getting rammed by the now staggering boar, as the blow from the axe sliced at its neck, stopping its charge abruptly. Seeing the prey has been weakened from the blow, Alfred viscously swung again and now the axe cleaved right through the boar’s neck, killing it before its head even dropped to the ground.
Not even ten seconds after the boar was killed, another one crossed his vision. But this one seems to have no clue that his brother’s killer is stalking him or even about his brother’s death just seconds ago as he just kept on casually strolling. Taking advantage of the boar’s inability to detect him, Alfred sprinted towards it with his axe ready to swing forth.
The boar noticed him just in time to swerve to the side and avoid the axe swinging down at him. It angrily rammed at him to the waist, sending him reeling backwards. It seems like this boar is more intelligent than its normal counterpart. Alfred recovered quickly from the hit and faced the boar. Unlike the other boar from a while ago, this one didn’t carelessly charge him, instead it also just stood there staring at him with its eyes that were full of anger and uncanny intelligence. It seems to be sizing up the human.
Once again, Alfred assumed his combat stance and prepared to swing at the enemy. Then the boar, who had finished sizing up its opponent, finally charged toward him at an even faster speed than the other one before.
The two eventually came in range with each other and they exchange attacks. Alfred swung down again with the intent to split the boar’s skull into two. And yet again, the boar dodged his attack and it countered him by biting his exposed arm from the missed swing. At the last second, Alfred managed to pull back but his right arm was still grazed by the boar’s tusk. Frustrated from missing, it gruntled while it used its momentum to try and ram the man over. He immediately dodged to the side and this time he completely avoided the attack.
Alfred was surprised at how the animal is pushing him back to the defensive. It seems as though he is fighting with an intelligent creature and not just an instinct-driven fauna. With this realization, he changes his approach to fighting the boar. This time, he would wait for it to attack first then counter with his own. He decided to focus on dodging rather than attacking faster than his opponent.
At the time he finished strategizing, the boar is about to spear his left leg with its sharp tusk. He reacted quickly by weaving to the side. Then he kicked the boar on its stomach since it would be faster than swing his axe again, making it stagger sideways. Yet the boar didn’t stop as it turned to him and charged forth again. Noticing the boar’s human-like enraged expression, Alfred inferred it would be muddle-headed too much to be able to think properly right now.
He switched back to his previous strategy, of attacking faster than his opponent could, since the boar was so enraged maybe it wouldn’t bother dodging and just charge away. At that moment, the boar roared confirming his conjecture even more. So he roared back in excitement as he gripped his axe beside him raising it over his head. Then the enraged boar and the ecstatic human clashed. It resulted in one of them left with a permanent cranial aperture and a limp lifeless body.
Alfred collapsed to the ground beside the boar’s corpse due to exhaustion. He was so exhilarated from fighting a somewhat intelligent non-human opponent that he overexerted himself. He could only shout at the sky, partly cursing and being thankful that the cataclysm happened where he could fight and kill to his heart’s content but now it is more difficult and more exciting with abominations appearing everywhere.
But first, he needs to find shelter, to rest, as his body is aching all over from the fight escaping.
But he was stopped by a wild boar charging full speed at him.
Alfred swung down again with intent to split the boar’s skull in two.
Frustrated from missing, it grunted while…
He could only shout at the sky, feeling both cursed and thankful, that the cataclysm happened where he could fight and kill to his heart’s content. But now it is more difficult and exciting with abominations appearing everywhere.