A Ninja's guide to the apocalypse

FunsizeNinja123 · 2014-09-21T13:00:19.000Z

[center][b]The door creeks as you step into the darkness. You flick on your flashlight and almost have a heart attack from what you see.

Guns and ammo line the walls, a room off to the side holds the most stocked kitchen you’ve ever seen. One room is random, filled with absolute junk that no one would take, even at a time like this. The last door holds the bedroom. Inside, a large bed and two dressers filled with every day clothes and the other holding the armor worthy of the famed labs. A rather thick, hand written book rests on the bedside table. You pick it up.[/b][/center]

[center][size=20pt]A guide for skrubs Ninja’s Guide to the Apocalypse.[/size][/center]

[hr]

So, I know you newbs have been dying, yes? Well, I gonna try my 15 year old ass to help you without getting mad at the stupid stuff you guys do. I’ll teach you how to minimize the time and the way you do things. Complete with pictures. Later. Uhm… Well, if you doubt my skills, please look over the right right side window at the brilliant J-9 Thread. Yeah. Look at them stats. Anyway, I’m sure it’ll be great helping you guys. Really. (Oh right, forgot to say I’m sarcastic most of the time on here.)

FIRST THINGS FIRST:

DO NOT PLAY WITH NPCs, BECAUSE I NEVER DO.

IF YOU’RE GONNA CHANGE OPTIONS IN THE OPTION MENU, PLEASE KEEP IT TO GRAPHICS OPTIONS UNTIL YOU KNOW WHAT THE OTHER OPTIONS DO. I CAN’T HELP YOU IN THE EVENT YOU CHANGE SOMETHING IN THE OPTIONS UNLESS YOU VERY SPECIFICALLY TELL ME WHAT YOU DID.

Let’s get started.

Emergency links to bottom posts in case this gets really long:
The quick guide
Starting out
Mid game
End game

Q: Hurry up dude.
A: THIS IS GONNA TAKE A WHILE OK I’VE SLOWED DOWN ON THE CATA

FunsizeNinja123 · 2014-09-21T13:01:49.000Z

[center][size=20pt]The down and dirty, absolute quick start guide[/size][/center]

[center]For those who want to skim this and play.[/center]

[size=12pt]DO:[/size]

Search all the dead bodies for loot. You never know what you’ll find; tools, weapons, ammo, clothing, you name it. Most zombies have nice starting gear.

[size=12pt]DO NOT:[/size]

SET ANYTHING ON FIRE. DO NOT, UNLESS YOU FEEL LIKE GOING OUT IN FLAMES OR WHEN YOU KNOW WHAT FIRE DOES.

FunsizeNinja123 · 2014-09-21T13:01:55.000Z

[center][size=20pt]The start of the game.[/size][/center]

[center]Welcome to the zone, stalker Cataclysm.[/center]

With the advent of scenarios, the “Evac survivor” or whatever it’s called is the original start of every game before scenarios. So start with evac scenario, because that’s what I’m basing this guide off as.

So, you’ve created your character (Not going into detail about character creation because what you pick is your problem), and start inside and in the corner of a little box building. That is the evac shelter, where everyone supposedly went off to go to when stuff happened. You’re alone,

FunsizeNinja123 · 2014-09-21T13:02:07.000Z

[center][size=20pt]Now, is there really a mid game?[/size][/center]

[center]Kind of.[/center]

FunsizeNinja123 · 2014-09-21T13:12:38.000Z

[center]This section of the book is held together with a rubber band. A warning on the front: Spoilers ahead! Heavily bloodstained and ripped. You can still read it, thankfully.[/center]

[center][size=20pt]End game.[/size][/center]

[center]You have my medal of… Something. Here. Take this none.[/center]

jimboblordofeskimos · 2014-09-21T16:02:02.000Z

Haha, you have bitten off a big chunk to chew through here funsize my lad. I keep threatening myself ill start one of these. I thank you for beating me to the punch.

Zireael · 2014-09-21T16:59:14.000Z

Waiting for more content to show up.

FunsizeNinja123 · 2014-09-21T18:06:56.000Z

Great, now I need to start a new game…

Arek_PL · 2014-09-21T18:11:27.000Z

even non-newbs wait for this guide i hope this will be good

Aslandus · 2014-09-21T19:49:46.000Z

Wow, this is a really short guide… At least it’s concise

TheFlame52 · 2014-09-21T19:53:35.000Z

There’s a typo in the first line of the OP. ‘has’

FunsizeNinja123 · 2014-09-21T22:10:48.000Z

TheFlame52:

There’s a typo in the first line of the OP. ‘has’

:3

Arek_PL:

even non-newbs wait for this guide i hope this will be good

:3

TheFlame52 · 2014-09-21T22:43:05.000Z

I like you, Ninja. You say nice things about the stuff I do. I might make some guides to lesser things, like triffid hives or strange temples.

Daidalon · 2014-09-22T03:54:04.000Z

You might wanna mention the ratio of bang between a gas tank and a mininuke.

Nubsawce · 2014-09-24T00:57:03.000Z

The use of “V” to look at all nearby monsters or items (using tab) is also invaluable. I would highly recommend adding this to the guide.

Birdie · 2014-09-24T22:07:51.000Z

Praise our LROD and SVAIOR ninja
I can’t wait for this pro as heck guide to roguelike zombies!

vsirl005 · 2014-09-24T22:50:43.000Z

If playing the experimental builds, after looting a corpse, either torch it or butcher it, it’ll get back up if you leave it. (Exception: Unless playing with the “no zombie revivification” mod)

Miloch · 2014-09-25T04:04:10.000Z

You can also 's’mash the corpse to a pulp. They will not get up if pulped.

Arek_PL · 2014-09-25T09:25:22.000Z

playing with static npc is actualy good thing free stuff nexit to you just lure few zombies to him

jimboblordofeskimos · 2014-09-25T09:30:43.000Z

vsirl005:

If playing the experimental builds, after looting a corpse, either torch it or butcher it, it’ll get back up if you leave it. (Exception: Unless playing with the “no zombie revivification” mod)

Unless things have changed, burning doesnt actually stop them from getting up again unless it damages the corpse enough for it to count as ‘pulped’. Everything else just slow the time until it does get back up.