[quote=“Rhodri, post:3991, topic:47”]
Two mi-goes converse about smoking while being beaten to death. Just another day in the cataclysm.[/quote]
Beat that.
So I’m sitting in my creepy abandoned cabin in the middle of nowhere on the edge of a road not far from the lab I spawned in brewing some mutagen form zombies I butchered earlier in the week when suddenly…
To the north you hear wump!
“Well that’s strange” I think to myself, telling the game to stop crafting so I can examine the source of this peculiar noise. I walk over to a window I’ve deboarded to let light into the room but put curtains on for safety reasons. (Don’t need any angry moose jumping through the window to assault me.) and upon opening the window I’m met with a rather unpleasant surprise.
A horde from the neighboring Mega-City One has decided to investigate the fart it heard. Just from my limited view from the window there’s at least 20 zombies, which probably means there’s a couple hundred that I can’t see. In a panic, I make matters worse and really (F)uck up my day. I slap F, draw my 12 Gauge Pistol (The Zip-Gun variety) from it’s holster and cap the brute outside the window.
Now, for those of you new to the game, the worst possible thing you can do when you’ve got wandering hordes turned on, is make a noise louder than a fart in a pillow. I just fired an unsuppressed shotgun. Now, small spoiler, this basically means I’ve alerted every zombie on the planet to my location. Let’s get back to my series of bad choices.
Now I’ve got a small cache of weapons, as well as about 12 gallons of clean water stored here that’d be difficult to replace. As well as almost a hundred reptile eggs, a few hundred gallons of bleach and ammonia that I painstakingly transported from my lab to this little cook-house/shelter in bum-fuck nowhere. This lizard-man is not about to lose his shit. So, with the horde descending on my cook-house I grab my guns, and the water and load it into my car. The car, a simple four door with no modifications to it, is nearly full, there isn’t enough room for the bleach, ammonia, zombie meat, and lizard eggs I’ve got waiting to flee. Which leaves me with two options:
Abandon the Lizard Mutagen materials, which we all know isn’t about to fucking happen.
or
Cook and Fight.
Having chosen option B, I grabbed an MP-5 I found in a lab, and all the 9mm ammo I had, boarded up the windows in my cook-room, and started a fire in the wood stove. I’ve got about five gallons of Mutagen to brew, 200 9mm rounds, and what I remember from my most recent run of the Rats mission in Payday 2.
about a hundred assorted re-dead undead later I’ve got an infected wound, two untreated wounds, less than 30% overall health, nothing but a pair of duffle bags on, and four and a half gallons of lizard mutagen. I scoop the chemistry set off the floor, grab the syringe from the counter, and make a run for the fucking car as a hulk cool-aid man’s his way through the north wall, causing the north side of my cook-house to collapse and the stove’s fire to be not so contained anymore.
Here’s to hoping I can escape and that my greed doesn’t end me.
GOOD CHOICE IN MUSIC.
Also:
“Fuck me, we needed those damn cooks. I’m going with caustic soda.”
No, fuck off Bain. It’s not soda, it’s chloride. Stop finding a new guide every time we cook a batch.
Whacked some assorted blobs around the slime pit. Returned to home basement to drink, then I’ll probably whack them some more.
[quote=“Zireael, post:4004, topic:47”]Whacked some assorted blobs around the slime pit. Returned to home basement to drink, then I’ll probably whack them some more.[/quote]grinding mele skills?
I finally updated the game after all this time.
Man, that’s a lot of new shit, I tell you h’wat.
Well, I managed to do something amazing…
I noticed on my map a BANDIT CAMP!!! (gasp)
I set up my raid, with 5 fellow NPCs.
I bring a Barrete 50.cal Sniper Rifle, fully modified…
All the other NPC’s get AK-47s with Suppressors.
I start the siege, OH MY GOD WHY ARE THERE 150 NPCS ON MY SCREEN!
I realize I should of brought a machine gun.
SUDDENLY…
They manage to all die, via liberal use of FLAMEWAFFEN!!
CRITICAL MISSION SUCESS!!
Oh, and all of my NPC’s were caught in the blaze of death. I proceeded to butcher all of the NPC’s, and with 800 pounds of Ground Human, I took it back to base and proceed to call myself…
Chef Wolf
Screw it, almost all MUT_LUPINE mutations, so I just called my character Chef Wolf from now on.
All lupine mutations? heres quite a few annoying ones in that tree and the post treshold doesn t give you … much.
You doing this for flavour??? 
I try getting just the tail and or ears cause they are usefull… but its realy hard to controll mutations…
[quote=“trusty_patches, post:4006, topic:47”]I finally updated the game after all this time.
Man, that’s a lot of new shit, I tell you h’wat.[/quote]
NOW STAAAYYYY
(Good to see you Trusty.)
So my search for a new home isn’t going well
[quote=“EkarusRyndren, post:4010, topic:47”]So my search for a new home isn’t going well
[/quote]
Was there a spider?
[quote=“EkarusRyndren, post:4010, topic:47”]So my search for a new home isn’t going well
-snibbedi snab-[/quote]
Judging by the fancy trail you got hit by another crazy invention known as "I fell out of a car moving at mach 5 and decided that it will never pop up in my world again oh boy was I wrong"
Or, if you want to shorten it, “NEVER AGAIN”
[quote=“TheFlame52, post:4001, topic:47”][quote=“Rhodri, post:3991, topic:47”]
Two mi-goes converse about smoking while being beaten to death. Just another day in the cataclysm.[/quote]
Beat that.[/quote]
Horrifying.
But not as much as constantly waking up to random NPCs spawning in my basement while I sleep. And sometimes being attacked by them.
Note to self: sleep with a shotgun in hand. Loaded.
[quote=“Valpo, post:4008, topic:47”]All lupine mutations? heres quite a few annoying ones in that tree and the post treshold doesn t give you … much.
You doing this for flavour???
I try getting just the tail and or ears cause they are usefull… but its realy hard to controll mutations…[/quote]
I’ve got a full post-thresh lupine and yeah some of them are annoying, like carnivore, but I can live with that since I kill most of my food anyway. Being fleet footed, having some nice cold protection, and +4 strength is worth the drawbacks IMHO.
[quote=“trusty_patches, post:4012, topic:47”][quote=“EkarusRyndren, post:4010, topic:47”]So my search for a new home isn’t going well
-snibbedi snab-[/quote]
Judging by the fancy trail you got hit by another crazy invention known as "I fell out of a car moving at mach 5 and decided that it will never pop up in my world again oh boy was I wrong"
Or, if you want to shorten it, “NEVER AGAIN”[/quote]
No, a triffid queen was strolling along and wasn’t about to let an oversized lizard’s log cabin stop the path of the forest from expanding. She jst happened to expand the forrest into one of several wood stoves I had in the cabin, and yup, fireball.
This is why I like vehicles, they tend to not spontaneously burst into flame.
[quote=“EkarusRyndren, post:4015, topic:47”][quote=“trusty_patches, post:4012, topic:47”][quote=“EkarusRyndren, post:4010, topic:47”]So my search for a new home isn’t going well
-snibbedi snab-[/quote]
Judging by the fancy trail you got hit by another crazy invention known as "I fell out of a car moving at mach 5 and decided that it will never pop up in my world again oh boy was I wrong"
Or, if you want to shorten it, “NEVER AGAIN”[/quote]
No, a triffid queen was strolling along and wasn’t about to let an oversized lizard’s log cabin stop the path of the forest from expanding. She jst happened to expand the forrest into one of several wood stoves I had in the cabin, and yup, fireball.
This is why I like vehicles, they tend to not spontaneously burst into flame.[/quote]
And this is why we need player-buildable concrete walls. Fireproof construction GO!
Nice pickup truck there, though.
[quote=“KA101, post:4016, topic:47”][quote=“EkarusRyndren, post:4015, topic:47”][quote=“trusty_patches, post:4012, topic:47”][quote=“EkarusRyndren, post:4010, topic:47”]So my search for a new home isn’t going well
-snibbedi snab-[/quote]
Judging by the fancy trail you got hit by another crazy invention known as "I fell out of a car moving at mach 5 and decided that it will never pop up in my world again oh boy was I wrong"
Or, if you want to shorten it, “NEVER AGAIN”[/quote]
No, a triffid queen was strolling along and wasn’t about to let an oversized lizard’s log cabin stop the path of the forest from expanding. She jst happened to expand the forrest into one of several wood stoves I had in the cabin, and yup, fireball.
This is why I like vehicles, they tend to not spontaneously burst into flame.[/quote]
And this is why we need player-buildable concrete walls. Fireproof construction GO!
Nice pickup truck there, though.[/quote]
I have since totaled it trying to escape a horde I’m not equipped to fight.
Well it wasn’t recent but looking at someof this stuff inspires me to retell my dearest Wendy’s final moments.
She found a solar-powered car, and it worked. She is, however, not skilled at driving. In fact in my head she’s very small, and pushing the pedals and steering is hard simultaneously, even slowly. She did manage to run down one of those lizard red football things that melted AND a blur-hand thingy, and she only almost flipped the thing over once. Pretty good, I’d say!
She drove it to town to start looting, trailing along the road in her new ride at a comfortable speed just above zombie speed yet just slow enough to both nudge out of the way of wreckages and correct sudden swerves in her path. At one point she tried to clumsily run down something, only to realize she had passed everything. She nosed forward past a house, so the road going south was exposed.
Chicken walker.
Saw a laser beam. I imagine she glanced down and the “ABORT” sequence tripped in her brain, and she up and just released the controls right there to bail the fuck out. Slammed into a wreckage directly in front of her.
The chicken walker fired its grenade launcher a second before that, and I swear it tried to lead her off. Thing expoded the wreckage instead of her, shattering the windshield, raining metal fucking everywhere, and then its minigun opened up and started to punch holes in the concrete and the roof of the car. Meanwhile she’s freaking the fuck out cuz fire and metal and hot bits peppering and glass and LOUD and gotta run gotta go go GO GO! Finally kicks the door open. Motions in preparation to leap out of the car and run like hell.
Second grenade lands. Hits the right-hand door; shatters the car, instantly kills her. In my head I saw the shattered left half of the solar car rolling up the road, firy bits of debris scattering every which way.
Eerie silence. A faint scent of cooked hair. Something sizzling in the wreckage.
…not gonna lie, it was kind of amazing.
its deffinatly not worth passing the treshold though so i generaly do not use serum to avoid accidently crossing it.