# Oh, NPC! **URL:** \ **Category:** The Bunker\ **Created:** [November 29, 2016, 3:16pm UTC](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/t/oh-npc/13044 "2016-11-29T15:16:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1

**Author:** ![linkfanpc](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/discourse.cataclysmdda.org/linkfanpc/32/572_2.png) [@linkfanpc](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/u/linkfanpc)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2016, 3:16pm UTC](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/t/oh-npc/13044/1 "2016-11-29T15:16:01Z")

Post your silly/stupid stories about NPCs here! (Sorry if this is already a thing.) Me: Dude, cmon, we killed them all. Let’s go find a hardware store or something. NPC Buddy: Wait, who’s that? _Bandit NPC walks up to me_ Bandit NPC: Drop your fire axe! Or else! Me: Uh, okay. _Drops it_ Bandit NPC: _steps closer_ Okay…don’t move… Me: Wait a minute, _looks at bandit NPC, realizes he’s unarmed_ Huh… NPC Buddy: _Just stands there while i get “robbed”_ Me: _Picks up fire axe, beats the living crap out of the bandit NPC._ Dude, cmon, “we” killed him, let’s go find a hardware store or something. ---

**Author:** ![DeclanFrost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@DeclanFrost](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/u/DeclanFrost)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2016, 3:26pm UTC](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/t/oh-npc/13044/2 "2016-11-29T15:26:33Z")

The Tale of Urist Davis _riding shotgun in spike-plated deathmobile_ "Hold on, let me pulp that zombie corpse!" _car-surfs on frame of deathmobile_ _gets pulped under 4 Tank Treads_ End ---

**Author:** ![linkfanpc](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/discourse.cataclysmdda.org/linkfanpc/32/572_2.png) [@linkfanpc](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/u/linkfanpc)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2016, 3:34pm UTC](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/t/oh-npc/13044/3 "2016-11-29T15:34:28Z")

[quote=“DeclanFrost, post:2, topic:13044”]The Tale of Urist Davis _riding shotgun in spike-plated deathmobile_ "Hold on, let me pulp that zombie corpse!" _car-surfs on frame of deathmobile_ _gets pulped under 4 Tank Treads_ End[/quote] ![](https://media.giphy.com/media/3orieLHXgpfkKO9Iju/giphy.gif) ---

**Author:** ![TheFlame52](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/discourse.cataclysmdda.org/theflame52/32/247_2.png) [@TheFlame52](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/u/TheFlame52)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2016, 4:34pm UTC](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/t/oh-npc/13044/4 "2016-11-29T16:34:08Z")

I’ve got a story much like that, except he jumped out the back of the Solar Roller and got eaten by zombies. ---

**Author:** ![DeclanFrost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@DeclanFrost](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/u/DeclanFrost)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2016, 4:46pm UTC](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/t/oh-npc/13044/5 "2016-11-29T16:46:03Z")

> [@TheFlame52](#): > > I’ve got a story much like that, except he jumped out the back of the Solar Roller and got eaten by zombies. But isn’t it so much better when for a few minutes they feel cool by car surfing before getting atom smashed by a beast of a deathmobile. ---

**Author:** ![Charlesilv4](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/discourse.cataclysmdda.org/charlesilv4/32/591_2.png) [@Charlesilv4](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/u/Charlesilv4)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2016, 6:00pm UTC](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/t/oh-npc/13044/6 "2016-11-29T18:00:25Z")

I was in my base chilling, I see a npc and try to block him from entering in my base, so i go outside and wait in the only doorway, zombie sees me and both the npc and zombie tries to reach for me, I figure that the npc would kill the zombie…and kill the zombie he did…with a fu\*\*\*ng flamethrower that hits the walls of my house and burn my base down. Then he ask me for help. Oh the old times cdda. ---

**Author:** ![ApatheticExcuse](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/discourse.cataclysmdda.org/apatheticexcuse/32/433_2.png) [@ApatheticExcuse](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/u/ApatheticExcuse)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2016, 7:13pm UTC](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/t/oh-npc/13044/7 "2016-11-29T19:13:36Z")

Any NPC story I’ve ever had ends with them getting their hands on something they shouldn’t like a flamethrower and generally just wrecking everything, good and bad. Usually at that point I rage and kill them myself. The best is doing a LMOE start and having the NPC try to roast ants or something next to the shelter entrance. Kinda makes me laugh to imagine the PC, having spent the last few months safe and sound in the shelter, opening the door and immediately stepping out into a firey hell. I _really_ need to play the experimentals more. 0.C stable NPCs are painful to have around. ---

**Author:** ![DeclanFrost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@DeclanFrost](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/u/DeclanFrost)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2016, 9:02pm UTC](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/t/oh-npc/13044/8 "2016-11-29T21:02:20Z")

> [@ApatheticExcuse](#): > > I _really_ need to play the experimentals more. 0.C stable NPCs are painful to have around. Oh, they’re still borked right now. Worse, since they have needs and such (but you can turn them off in worldgen.) ---

**Author:** ![Vastin](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/discourse.cataclysmdda.org/vastin/32/9912_2.png) [@Vastin](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/u/Vastin)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2016, 9:33pm UTC](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/t/oh-npc/13044/9 "2016-11-29T21:33:12Z")

> [@ApatheticExcuse](#): > > I _really_ need to play the experimentals more. 0.C stable NPCs are painful to have around. Am playing an experimental game right now - and in the savescum I’ve been playing with the one and only wandering NPC I have encountered is extremely anti-social has repeatedly found me in my basement and decorated the walls of it with my brains using an M1 Garand. In related news, you’d think that long rifles would suffer a serious to-hit penalty in hand-to-hand, but you would be badly mistaken. ---

**Author:** ![Rot](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/discourse.cataclysmdda.org/rot/32/454_2.png) [@Rot](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/u/Rot)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2016, 11:34pm UTC](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/t/oh-npc/13044/10 "2016-11-29T23:34:42Z")

> [@Vastin](#): > > [quote=“ApatheticExcuse, post:7, topic:13044”]I _really_ need to play the experimentals more. 0.C stable NPCs are painful to have around. Am playing an experimental game right now - and in the savescum I’ve been playing with the one and only wandering NPC I have encountered is extremely anti-social has repeatedly found me in my basement and decorated the walls of it with my brains using an M1 Garand. In related news, you’d think that long rifles would suffer a serious to-hit penalty in hand-to-hand, but you would be badly mistaken.[/quote] Maybe the NPC has the stock resting on his shoulder, that way the barrel protrudes slightly outwards and is pointed toward you, without sticking out too much. It can then fire by reaching behind and fiddling with the trigger using a coat hanger. Or maybe it sacrificed a bullet to use magic and implode your head. ---

**Author:** ![pisskop](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/discourse.cataclysmdda.org/pisskop/32/1327_2.png) [@pisskop](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/u/pisskop)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2016, 1:04am UTC](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/t/oh-npc/13044/11 "2016-11-30T01:04:48Z")

An NPC tried to rob me. I got in my truck and started to drive away. He hung onto the car until I stopped, then moved at me again. I resolved this by reversing into a horde that had a brute who tossed him through my gas tank. ---

**Author:** ![TheFlame52](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/discourse.cataclysmdda.org/theflame52/32/247_2.png) [@TheFlame52](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/u/TheFlame52)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2016, 2:05am UTC](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/t/oh-npc/13044/12 "2016-11-30T02:05:24Z")

Did anyone survive? ---

**Author:** ![DeclanFrost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@DeclanFrost](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/u/DeclanFrost)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2016, 2:22am UTC](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/t/oh-npc/13044/13 "2016-11-30T02:22:34Z")

> [@TheFlame52](#): > > Did anyone survive? The brute did, I bet. ---

**Author:** ![pisskop](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/discourse.cataclysmdda.org/pisskop/32/1327_2.png) [@pisskop](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/u/pisskop)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2016, 3:28am UTC](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/t/oh-npc/13044/14 "2016-11-30T03:28:04Z")

i made it to a house doorway. this was back when npcs just started their most recent transforming, ie wgen roadstops were new ---

**Author:** ![Vastin](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/discourse.cataclysmdda.org/vastin/32/9912_2.png) [@Vastin](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/u/Vastin)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2016, 4:30pm UTC](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/t/oh-npc/13044/15 "2016-11-30T16:30:13Z")

I’ve turned NPC’s back off for the time being. I don’t mind being robbed occasionally, but with their ability to teleport into your space while you are sleeping/crafting, they are just too obnoxious and dangerous to deal with. ---

**Author:** ![TooDAMNMuch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@TooDAMNMuch](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/u/TooDAMNMuch)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2016, 12:16am UTC](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/t/oh-npc/13044/16 "2016-12-01T00:16:15Z")

[quote=“pisskop, post:11, topic:13044”]An NPC tried to rob me. I got in my truck and started to drive away. He hung onto the car until I stopped, then moved at me again. I resolved this by reversing into a horde that had a brute who tossed him through my gas tank.[/quote] jeez what a badass, is being tossed through a gas tank cataclysm’s burial at sea tradition now? ---

**Author:** ![Litppunk](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/discourse.cataclysmdda.org/litppunk/32/409_2.png) [@Litppunk](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/u/Litppunk)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2016, 12:30am UTC](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/t/oh-npc/13044/17 "2016-12-01T00:30:24Z")

[quote=“TooDAMNMuch, post:16, topic:13044”][quote=“pisskop, post:11, topic:13044”]An NPC tried to rob me. I got in my truck and started to drive away. He hung onto the car until I stopped, then moved at me again. I resolved this by reversing into a horde that had a brute who tossed him through my gas tank.[/quote] jeez what a badass, is being tossed through a gas tank cataclysm’s burial at sea tradition now?[/quote] That awkward moment you realize the game warden would swim 5 miles upstream through broken glass to give his own mother a fishing ticket NPC would fight through a zombie horde and cling to a car harder than a terminator to steal your bubblegum. ---

**Author:** ![Mike64](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/discourse.cataclysmdda.org/mike64/32/592_2.png) [@Mike64](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/u/Mike64)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2016, 4:24am UTC](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/t/oh-npc/13044/18 "2016-12-01T04:24:08Z")

“Oh, NPC!” Kinda sounds like a sitcom to me. The NPC would be doing something funny, and most of the time stupid thing, and at the end of it all. It would zoom into the face of the NPC, giving a smug look, and everyone would say “Oh, NPC!” All while putting their hands on their hips. Just thinking about that makes me want it as a show now. ---

**Author:** ![linkfanpc](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/discourse.cataclysmdda.org/linkfanpc/32/572_2.png) [@linkfanpc](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/u/linkfanpc)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2016, 7:41pm UTC](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/t/oh-npc/13044/19 "2016-12-01T19:41:40Z")

[quote=“Mike64, post:18, topic:13044”]“Oh, NPC!” Kinda sounds like a sitcom to me. The NPC would be doing something funny, and most of the time stupid thing, and at the end of it all, it would zoom into the face of the NPC, giving a smug look, and everyone would say “Oh, NPC!” All while putting their hands on their hips. Just thinking about that makes me want it as a show now.[/quote] HAHAHA! That’s awesome! XD ---

**Author:** ![Litppunk](https://sea2.discourse-cdn.com/flex016/user_avatar/discourse.cataclysmdda.org/litppunk/32/409_2.png) [@Litppunk](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/u/Litppunk)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2016, 12:05am UTC](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/t/oh-npc/13044/20 "2016-12-02T00:05:03Z")

season 1 isn’t quite finished being written yet, but I’d watch it. [Next page](https://discourse.cataclysmdda.org/t/oh-npc/13044.md?page=2)