Murphy's Laws of the Cataclysm

[Stekcs]

75. Loaded down on loot in that hospital? Have a Hulk!

76. Finally strong enough that you can square off against hulks without any pre-preparation? Well, don’t worry; Hulks will always have an entourage of corrosives, to add some flavor. You can handle hulks at 200 pain, right?

[bostltch]

77. If you start with a missed character with wander spawns turned on, yes you will be surrounded by a massive horde.
78. No that turret isn’t out of ammo even though it’s not shooting that zombie, it’s just saving it just for you, how nice!

[DarkandStar]

79.) If one is unsure of whether or not they have been spotted, they have.

80.) If one runs from a lone Zombie, they will mistakenly run into a very large horde.

[Nodus]

81. If you find an RV, it will be missing every single tire.

[DarkandStar]

82.) Even if there are numerous other entrances, the NPE will path through the nearest unbroken window.

[Litppunk]

82a. Want to leave everything closed up so passing NPC’s don’t steal, wild animal don’t wander in etc??? Npc opens window AND curtain so you have to go back and close it.

83. Said “ah fuck it, That won’t happen this time.” It does.

84. Said “better be safe can’t have bad things happen.” Nothing happens. -storage space, time, other valuable potential.

85. Remember that ____ you passed by in favor of exploring ____ ? It had all the good loot and almost nothing to challenge you for it.

86. That promising looking place you went instead? Zombie horde, wandering NPC making noise to draw them to you, and sudden NPC behind you that wants to chase you half way around the world so he can talk to you and tell you this his his terf, make you drop weapon/shoot you in back while you are busy with horde in front.

87. That bland plot of clearing/forest you run by every day but never step into/near? It has a airdrop of crates filled to the brim with everything you ever wanted. To bad it was to “empty” for you to investigate though.

[Arek_PL]

88. want to get natural artifact? they are scattered around your base and you do not know about it and you search for anomalies on other end of world

[Azrad]

89. I’ve been quicksaving manually and the game hasn’t crashed yet, so I think it’ll be all right to not save right now. Then the game crashes after a decent amount of progress and you haven’t quicksaved since the last time.

[Etherdreamer]

90. You are crafting a bandage with some meds you find in a house, you got injured in that fight to enter there. You hear a wump in the other side of the wall right next to you. You ignore it and continue crafting. Wall crumbles, a brute zed just punch a hole in the wall, he fist, you goes propelled hitting a wall and smashing the wall, continues flying and hit other wall.

Your body turns into pulp.

[Codeslamer]

91. That NPC you see with a makeshift flamethrower? They will attack as soon as you enter a flammable building and hit a dead-end.

[Azrad]

92. Gun stores will almost always be wrecks that’s still swarming with zombies.

[DeWolf]

93. If you want missile toe you’ll get it, literally… to your face.

Christmas Law

[TheKobold]

94. If you are having an easy time of it you will do something stupid like pull the pin out of a grenade on accident with no where to throw it that doesn’t blow you or your stuff up.

[JonnyBlack]

95. That moose that killed you outside your first evac shelter in a new world? He’ll be waiting as RNGesus sends you back to that shelter for your next six spawns.
    95a. When you finally wise up and spawn a character starting with a weapon, you’ll spawn somewhere else.

[KliPeH]

96. There WILL be a Moose/Bear/Squirrel/Zombie accidentally getting trapped inside the minefield and triggering all the mines off before dying.
    Damn, I hope nobody heard that.
    96a. Everybody heard it. A massive horde is now on its way to check if you’re alright and help you with your basic survival needs.

[Blackhawk]

97. The man asking you to save his dog, may or may not have your death in mind and is most likely going to loot your corpse upon death.
    And don’t pet the dog.
    EVER.
98. If you hear a horde outside, don’t have a self-preservation ideal in your body, and feel like using your merchant bought Double-Barrel Shotgun, you most likely forgot to buy ammo with it.

[DeWolf]

99. If you are starting out, have no melee skills and want to knife spear something from a distance you’re gonna get it ripped from your hands.
100. (yay) When you lost your one weapons your going to lose a lot of other weapons trying to fight the thing that took your first weapon.

[Noctifer]

101.You will not find THAT book you are looking for.

102.If you manage to find it, the next loot run will spawn three.

[Azrad]

103. You get an infected bite. You have the medical supplies to fix it, but you’re too cheap to use it/at a point where you’d rather save those medical supplies for serious injuries, so you decide to cauterize the wound instead. Cauterization will then require multiple tries to fix it to the point of giving your survivor massive amounts of pain.

[Tawarochir]

103a. Your cauterizations, if they do not put you in excruciating pain, will immediately infect the wound.
103a’. It is also likely that your cauterizations will give you excruciating pain and infect the wound.